Episode 46 - Krissy Bold: How Taking Small Steps Reveals the BIG Picture

Focus less on finding the BIG thing that’s going to fulfill you and more on what’s going to make you happy right now.

This was the lesson Krissy Bold learned after that relatable postpartum hangover when so many of us look around and think: Now what?

More about Krissy Bold👇

Krissy Bold is a full time mom to 2 toddlers. Before becoming a mom she was a teacher and school administrator. She now creates activities for children and a podcast for moms. Krissy is passionate about building community and giving moms a place to share their stories.

Connect with Krissy 👇

Website: http://BoldLittleMinds.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558868559928

IG: https://www.instagram.com/boldlittleminds/

Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@boldlittleminds

If you want to break free from the 9 to 5 or spend more time with your family, then check out this FREE webinar that goes over exactly what I'm doing to create time and financial freedom.
https://www.breakingfreewithlindsay.com/learn

If you ever have any questions or want to reach out - I'd love to connect with you. Send me a DM on Facebook (it's the best way to reach me!)

Transcript

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Lindsay Ford: All right. I have Chrissy Bold with me here today, and she's a former teacher. Now, a stay at home mom and she's creating a podcast for moms and activities for little humans. Welcome to the podcast Chrissy.

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Bold Little Minds: Thank you, Lindsay. Thanks so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here.

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Lindsay Ford: Me, too. I'm really excited. As soon as we started connecting just over messenger I felt like we had an instant connection. There's some similarities in our stories, so why don't you take us through your journey?

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Lindsay Ford: from, you know, when you were in the school system as a teacher, and then how you've progressed to where you are now.

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Bold Little Minds: Sure. Well, it actually even starts before that when I 1st was in high school, you know, trying to figure out what you were doing.

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Bold Little Minds: I had no idea what I wanted to do. I went to a high school where most of the kids

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Bold Little Minds: didn't go to college, but I was in a friend group where that was kind of the thing where everyone was moving. So whoever you're surrounded with, I feel like that. That is your peer pressure. That's your motivation, that's your expectation.

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Bold Little Minds: So I knew that I wanted to go to college. I was college driven, but I didn't know what. In my senior year I had. We had a block schedule, and there were some open blocks for seniors where you could do things that were a little, you know, out of the norm. So one of the things that I did was I ended up interning for my 1st grade teacher

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Bold Little Minds: and I would go down there. There were 90 min blocks. It was enough time for me to travel back and forth and work with her, and it was great. I mean, I liked working with the kids. It was fun. So I thought, you know, I'll I'll go that route. But so I went to college for elementary education.

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Bold Little Minds: and while I was there my freshman year. I

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Bold Little Minds: I just felt like there had to be other opportunities for me besides being in the classroom already. Then I knew

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Bold Little Minds: that that might not be the right fit. So I started a program right away. Called, Explore your options

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Bold Little Minds: with just like this freshman mentor faculty member that was on staff. He was really excited about this as well, and through that I formed an internship at Wgbh on the TV show. Zoom. Do you remember that show.

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Lindsay Ford: No, I don't. But that's awesome.

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Bold Little Minds: Yeah. And it was the final season. It was in post-production. So it was kind of anticlimactic. And you know life as an intern. I did a lot of cutting and shredding and finding, going through the clips to find the exact moment in a video where something would line up.

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Bold Little Minds: But it was really fun to see what educational television was like, what that world would be like. And then that summer I went to a Rolling Stones concert with my dad and my sisters, and I was taking pictures. I mean, at the time. It's not like we all had cell phones. I had a digital camera

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Bold Little Minds: and

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Bold Little Minds: The person I was sitting next to gave me her business card, and said, Send me some of these pictures that would be great, and lo and behold, she worked at an educational technology company.

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Bold Little Minds: So I emailed her. And I said, I'm interested in learning about things that I can use my degree, for after college that aren't necessarily teaching, do you have any opportunities? And through that I became an intern at her company which was really cool. They they weren't like an intern company. It was something they created special for me, and I did things like mailing out postcards and doing cold calls things like that, but they treated me like gold. I went, and they had this snack

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Bold Little Minds: kitchen, where they would say, Take everything. You're starving college student, take it all.

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Bold Little Minds: And it was the best. But so I started early on just knowing there's other things out there for me, in case this isn't the right fit, because I was so afraid of locking myself into a career where I wouldn't have

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Bold Little Minds: another option. Like I'm I'm going to be in debt for a significant amount of time because of this. What am I going to do with it? It's it's a valuable investment.

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Bold Little Minds: But then, after that, I ended up going straight into grad school for middle school math. So elementary school I taught for a little while, and I wanted more options. Math was a passion for me, so I did that.

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Bold Little Minds: and then I ended up teaching. And then eventually, as I was teaching.

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Bold Little Minds: I had the opportunity to become the curriculum coordinator for my department, so I moved into administration from there.

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Bold Little Minds: and was doing that for 5 5 years or so where I was teaching, but also kind of like a middle manager, and from there

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Bold Little Minds: I got pregnant and took a year leave of absence, because luckily my school gave me that opportunity to do that where they held my position. But then, midway through, I said, You know.

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Bold Little Minds: I want to stay with this baby. I want to keep on this path rather than

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Bold Little Minds: dividing my attention between my kids and everybody else's kids and everybody else's parent.

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Bold Little Minds: because I knew that whoever I was at the beginning of the day

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Bold Little Minds: they were who was getting the best of me.

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Bold Little Minds: you know. I was starting off fresh. I was giving my my

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Bold Little Minds: whatever that best is right. I was giving my my best efforts, my friendly customer service face, whatever it would be, and and no matter what, by the end of the day, you know you're you're spent, you you're not necessarily proud of the things that you're doing at bedtime. It's just that's the nature of it. But I wanted my baby to get those better pieces, as well as the

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Bold Little Minds: not so great pieces at the end.

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Lindsay Ford: Well, and I love that. You have that recognition because

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Lindsay Ford: there is. You know, our our culture is structured where you go to work all day. You give your best, and you're spent by the time you get home. And I've even just seen in my own life, where you know I was working full time. I had 2 kids, and like

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Lindsay Ford: by the end of the day, when I was picking them up from childcare from school, like I was, I was done. I didn't have patience for them, and they didn't have patience as well, because they were done, too, at that time of day.

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Lindsay Ford: And yeah, to recognize that you are delivering your best, and you are your best in the in the mornings or earlier in the day. And progressively, I'll say get worse, but it's not.

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Lindsay Ford: and I'm totally the same way. Like kudos to you for recognizing that, and then choosing to

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Lindsay Ford: I'll say walk away from. I'm guessing a a salary, and just like some comfort and security there.

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Lindsay Ford: I also

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Lindsay Ford: I just want to touch on what you shared with your. You know you knew that the teaching wasn't wholeheartedly what you wanted to do for the rest of your life. But the education piece I love how there was just like this almost chain of events, and these

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Lindsay Ford: miraculous little run-ins and coincidences where you're at the Rolling Stones concert and got someone's card randomly, and I think the more we can recognize these little bits and pieces, these little breadcrumbs that lead us to the next step, like, I think that's like the magic of life, and it's our job to pay attention, and obviously took you in different direction, a different direction. And you got a

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Lindsay Ford: more experience than you would have just going into a classroom, and some different ideas of how to

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Lindsay Ford: you know what makes sense to you

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Lindsay Ford: when you were leaving your job like? What was? Were there any fears and insecurities that came up in terms of walking away from a secure job and income?

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Bold Little Minds: Huge. Yes, I mean

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Bold Little Minds: My husband and I are both very financially conscious. We are savers, we are planners. We both came into our relationship. Having detailed spreadsheets like, if I was to buy a light bulb, I would be looking at the led options throughout the different, the stores and ridiculous levels of planning. And so, to go from being

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Bold Little Minds: a incredibly financially dependent woman, I owned my own home.

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Bold Little Minds: I lived independently for years, you know. I bought this house. I bought all the furniture in, and all of these things just on my own, through my own planning, and now, sure my savings would carry through. My investments were valuable

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Bold Little Minds: leading up to that point. But now I am effectively a hundred percent financially dependent on this person.

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Bold Little Minds: And that's a huge leap. So we have had so many conversations throughout this past few years as we've transitioned through this, and as I'm sure we'll continue to about how we talk to each other about money, and how we approach these things, and how we approach my role about how it's not. He's the moneymaker, because my role, even though it's

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Bold Little Minds: unpaid.

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Bold Little Minds: is still financially valuable. I mean, without me doing this we would be spending money on child care that that comes through in many ways. But then there's also that UN

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Bold Little Minds: unmonetized piece that you just can't put into words of

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Bold Little Minds: our kids aren't getting sick. So we're not fighting over. Who's taking off. I mean, they are getting sick, but I'm home, and I'm here, and we don't have to fight over who takes the sick day. I don't know who's big. Meeting is more important, where there's no battle about that.

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Bold Little Minds: We're not trying to figure out where our behavior came from. We kind of know where the biting is coming from, if that's what's happening and those unimmeasurable pieces are valuable as well. So it's been a big transition, and we're still working through it. But we have a good system and understanding at least of our foundations, of where we're coming from, where I can say to him.

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Bold Little Minds: the way you asked me about why I got this big package.

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Bold Little Minds: It it kind of it was an Ouch! And and he'll recognize that. And you know sometimes it is, we have an agreement that when and this happened, when we were both working too, if we were both to spend more than $100, give or take, we would just at least bring it up and talk about it. You know I don't need your approval necessarily, but I think it's an important thing to to at least talk about. So we've laid the foundation. But it's been scary, at least financially now in other ways, though, like

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Bold Little Minds: into the just like the

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Bold Little Minds: who you're who you are. Your identity

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Bold Little Minds: that

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Bold Little Minds: was

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Bold Little Minds: earth shattering.

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Bold Little Minds: I remember when my baby was 1st born, you know, there's that transition to becoming a mom, and that was tough, to begin with, of

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Bold Little Minds: just like not getting any sleep. This kid's crying all the time it was Covid. So I had 0 support. There was nobody coming over

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Bold Little Minds: to give me that few minutes of a nap, or whatever the the fairy tales you hear about of the multi-generational homes

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Bold Little Minds: did not exist. That was not happening. Nobody was coming to do my laundry, my dishes, and it was just trying to figure it all out, but that kept me busy, busy, busy.

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Bold Little Minds: and then my baby became about 9 months old, and I got pregnant again. So it was like, let's roll into this. Let's keep going like there was still no time to stop, and then my second baby became about 9 months old.

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Bold Little Minds: and I was like, Wait a minute. I'm not having another baby again. Things are starting to get easier. He's getting a little more independent.

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Bold Little Minds: and I'm coming out of this postpartum shell.

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Bold Little Minds: and

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Bold Little Minds: and I don't know where I am like I don't know who to be. You know it started with. You're you're so busy in those 1st 9 months of a life that it doesn't matter who you are. You aren't really a person like you're just like taking care of this baby, and that's

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Bold Little Minds: enough.

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Bold Little Minds: Right that's fulfilling and satisfying in its own way. You're surviving. So survival mode takes over identity doesn't exist at that point.

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Bold Little Minds: When you're out of survival mode. That's when you're Maslow's hierarchy. You're becoming a human again.

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Bold Little Minds: I was like, who am I? What do I do? So that was really where some of my path has taken me from there.

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Lindsay Ford: Yeah, I love that you touched on the identity piece because it's something that I struggled with as well. I struggled when I had my 1st baby, and just, you know, being at home.

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Lindsay Ford: I like went from like being super successful in my career. Being well respected. I knew what I was doing to like having no idea what I was doing with this human like, my role is completely different. My relationship with my husband was different, because, like, and all of a sudden I was at home doing all the households like it. Just

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Lindsay Ford: it was. The identity piece was massive. And then, when I was writing my my parenting book and going through the editing process. I had about like 10 to 12 moms reading the book, and there was one section in there where I described. You know, it was like someone took my entire being and threw it on the floor and shattered it, and I was left to pick up the pieces.

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Lindsay Ford: And it was funny, because that particular section of the book, every single one of them commented on it, and it was about 50 50 split in terms of people that were just like, yes, this happened to me. And then others were just like, I have no idea what you're talking about.

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Bold Little Minds: Yes.

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Lindsay Ford: But yeah, the the identity shift when you become a mom. And I think, like it's you cannot

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Lindsay Ford: describe it. You cannot explain it until you go through it. But it's massively

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Lindsay Ford: transformative. And I think that's why we see so many moms

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Lindsay Ford: doing blogs and podcasts and wanting to stay at home, even when they never thought they would want to stay at home like I was someone who

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Lindsay Ford: like staying at home with my kids, sounded.

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Lindsay Ford: I don't want to say like torture, but it just sounded like it.

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Lindsay Ford: It wasn't something I was excited about until I had

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Lindsay Ford: babies. And then I'm like, Yeah, I I want to stay at home. I don't want to go back to work. And I did go back to work for a number of years, and then I went through another identity shift when I walked away from that like nice job and that cushy salary into

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Lindsay Ford: my! Like, my positive parenting business, and then and then another identity change when, like my marriage broke apart. And

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Lindsay Ford: I think the identity shifts

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Lindsay Ford: even just what you mentioned in terms of finances going from someone who has always been able to support herself to someone who's now completely dependent on a husband like.

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Lindsay Ford: I didn't understand that until I went through it, and it was funny because we had done the opposite earlier in our marriage, where he had gone back to school and was. He was still working part time, but it was like he was more financially dependent on me. And he had all sorts of issues with that. And I was just like, you know this is fine. It's for the best interest of our family like it.

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Lindsay Ford: It didn't hit me until we switched roles and.

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Bold Little Minds: Yeah.

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Lindsay Ford: The the ability to.

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Lindsay Ford: I'll say, earn an income.

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Lindsay Ford: but also just the independence versus dependence piece of it. It plays such a significant

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Lindsay Ford: role in

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Lindsay Ford: our identity. So yeah, I think we we often talk about like the the loss of income or

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Lindsay Ford: just maybe even the shift in relationship dynamic. But the identity piece is massive. So I'm really grateful that you brought that up

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Lindsay Ford: in terms of getting into your more business side and figuring things out. So you've decided to stay at home with your kids. And

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Lindsay Ford: were you and around the 9 month mark, actually, one of the other things I want to say is, you know.

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Lindsay Ford: I think a lot of moms experience this, too, where it's like you, you

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Lindsay Ford: do lose your identity in the early years of raising kids, because it is so all consuming.

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Lindsay Ford: And

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Lindsay Ford: I think it's actually really hard to preserve your identity through that phase because you have this child that's so dependent on you and depending on the child.

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Lindsay Ford: They can consume a significant amount of time. I mean, they're going to consume a significant amount of time regardless. But you know, easy or harder kids, or just like sleep deprivation like it. It might not be that they're hard kids, but sleep, if you're not getting sleep. Then it's just like you, you can't

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Lindsay Ford: function

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Lindsay Ford: and and yeah, that loss of identity. I think a lot of moms can relate to just like, really, you know, as soon as they do have some time to their themselves, it's like.

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Lindsay Ford: what do I do? What what makes me happy like. I don't even know what to do with myself right now.

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Lindsay Ford: What did you start to do with yourself once? You were just like when.

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Bold Little Minds: Oh! Gee! The little.

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Lindsay Ford: Bit more space.

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Bold Little Minds: Right. I mean, I feel like

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Bold Little Minds: I 1st I tried to do some

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Bold Little Minds: the things that felt good before, and they didn't feel good anymore, because I wasn't who I was before. Like those identities didn't exist. That wasn't me. I was no longer the teacher. I was no longer. I wasn't into playing board games anymore, even though that was huge for me, because I didn't have the attention span at that point because I was so tired and still am like, I don't sit down to play games with my husband. I think we tried a couple times to play like

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Bold Little Minds: raco or something silly. The numbers, and we're just both so tired that it's not really something we want to try to make time for. We'd rather make time for other things. So these things that I loved and felt like they were huge parts of my life all of a sudden, aren't, and they don't fit back in. It's like your puzzle's been rearranged, and that piece doesn't

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Bold Little Minds: go in that piece anymore. So I really just started to look around like, what do I do? So one thing I did is

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Bold Little Minds: one thing I did for myself as a gift that I see now when I was pregnant with my first, st even though I didn't think I needed it. I started therapy

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Bold Little Minds: because I wanted to build a relationship with somebody and know I had a good fit. So, for if I ever was feeling like I needed that extra support. I hadn't established relationship rather than trying to find somebody then, because the mental health field is very difficult. I mean just trying to find the person who I fit with now

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Bold Little Minds: was quite a journey of no's, and we're full, and we don't have any. We don't take your insurance anymore, even though we're listed on the insurance's website. So I knew that if I was battling depression or anxiety I would probably get one no, and stop

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Bold Little Minds: like that, would be it so.

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Bold Little Minds: I gave myself that gift early on of establishing a relationship with a therapist. And so the 1st thing I did was call her and say, can we talk about some stuff? I feel like I'm having this this journey, and I don't know where to go. So that was the 1st step for me was meeting with her, and she gave me some really great suggestions of where I could start and where I could try what things have worked for other people that she's met with in the past.

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Bold Little Minds: I started running again. That was one thing that I had always loved to do or I did not. I shouldn't say that I didn't always love running. I hated running for a very long time.

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Bold Little Minds: and but I started to get into it and really enjoy it just before my pregnancy during Covid. So that was something that I really enjoyed to do. So I started doing that again, and kind of started to connect with other people in that way.

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Bold Little Minds: I started reaching out to different friends than I was trying to reach out to because your friendships change, and that's huge. It doesn't necessarily mean that

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Bold Little Minds: the people who were your best friends before are no longer. It's just they don't have that same

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Bold Little Minds: connection. They don't, and and it'll probably come back. It'll probably come back in a cycle where those friendships are renewed later on. But for now I connect more to my friends, who have children around the same age.

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Bold Little Minds: and are in similar situations so so redefining, that shuffling that. And then I found just through

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Bold Little Minds: again. Here's another like the universe

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Bold Little Minds: showing signs to you.

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Bold Little Minds: I was going through my social media. I was going through Instagram because that was something that I found a big connection to in my early parenting was all the experts that are out there that are sharing all of this information for free on Instagram. I would go through stories when your baby is a potato, and you can't do anything with them, anyway, because they're just laying there on the floor, and you don't know what to say to them, or they're sleeping all the time.

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Bold Little Minds: And so I would go through the stories, and somebody posted a story of this book. It was

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Bold Little Minds: by Dr. Morgan Cutlip. It was called

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Bold Little Minds: Love. Your Kids. Without losing yourself.

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Bold Little Minds: Whoa! Like that title for me was exactly what I needed, and she was launching this book and was starting a launch group.

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Bold Little Minds: And so I joined the launch group and I started reading the advanced copy. And I was doing interacting with the group that way. And that was so empowering. And the 1st chapter of the book really just like changed things for me.

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Bold Little Minds: And then she started to do a pre-order promotion where for book groups. If you ordered 10 copies of your book group, she would

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Bold Little Minds: do a private Q&A.

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Bold Little Minds: I was like, I'll do. I can do that. I can sell 10 books. I can start a book group. This is great. So I started an online book group, I went on, Reddit and I started posting on different subreddits that I wanted to do this and that

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Bold Little Minds: we needed 10 people to get this Q&A, and we got the 10 people like right at the end of it. So I started this online book group. We've we did 3 groups. It's kind of phased out right now as I start to explore some of my other passions, but it's still there. If I ever want to hop back into it. I think we have a hundred people right now not active. There are like 3 people active.

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Bold Little Minds: and there's like a hundred people that were interested in the group. Because.

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Bold Little Minds: like mom life, you think a book group sounds great. And then you start doing it. And it doesn't work for you, for whatever reason. It's very hard if you're not passionate about that thing, to decide to keep up with it.

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Bold Little Minds: And I get it.

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Bold Little Minds: So I started that when and even before that, when my baby was about 9 months old, I started a public Instagram page just to start to make connections. My 1st idea was I would post some deals of baby things and the products all the research that I had done. Because, you know, I did research?

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Bold Little Minds: So I would share some of this knowledge that I had, and that kind of died away. But so, having that public Instagram Page and this book group have really helped me to

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Bold Little Minds: explore the things. And one thing that really helped was taking the pressure off of myself. Of

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Bold Little Minds: what am I going. What is the thing I'm going to do? Because nothing has to be permanent. It was just taking small steps and letting them grow, just letting them develop and go where they were going to go.

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Lindsay Ford: I love. I love that you just followed the breadcrumbs.

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Bold Little Minds: Ha! Ha! Ha!

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Lindsay Ford: Well, like, yeah, and just like launched. And you're just like I can do a launch group like I can help promote this book. Just seeing the title and and jumping in. I think that.

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Lindsay Ford: you know there's a wisdom there in you that's just like, yes, this is this feels good, or trust in what feels good. And I and I really appreciate that you said that like. It's not a permanent decision, or however you worded that like it's not. Nothing's ever permanent. And

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Lindsay Ford: yeah, when we're not sure of our next steps, we just you feel into what feels fun and what feels nourishing to you, and what

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Lindsay Ford: lights you up. And I love that you were able to create a book group. And

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Lindsay Ford: it's it's really.

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Lindsay Ford: you know. I think I think it shows like not a lack of fear. Cause. Maybe there was fear there and starting something new, but

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Lindsay Ford: the willingness to try.

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Lindsay Ford: And I think so often it's easy to get stuck in our heads of just like, should I shouldn't I? Is this a good idea?

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Lindsay Ford: and just being willing to take a step forward and try like, what was was there any fear or hesitation around that? Or were you just like, yeah, this. Of course, I'll try this.

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Bold Little Minds: That was easier because it was on Reddit, and Reddit is very anonymous.

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Bold Little Minds: right? You just have your. You don't have a picture. It's not linked to your social media. It's it's just who you want to be. There.

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Bold Little Minds: I, my personal

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Bold Little Minds: social media is like silent. I don't post on there I have. I don't like sharing pictures of my family. I don't like people having this false sense of knowing me and knowing my family.

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Bold Little Minds: I had this a couple of weird interactions where I was chaperoning a dance for the town rec apartment, and

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Bold Little Minds: one of the girls came up to the the concession stand table that I was at, and it was the teenage daughter of somebody that I know. And she's all over the social media, and I was like, Hi! How's like I know her. I we know each other, and I'm talking to her.

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Bold Little Minds: She has no clue who I am. So she was like looking at me like, who is this crazy lady talking to me like? Give me my coke, and I'm going to go back and dance, and that hit me. And then I was at the Mall, and I saw this little boy running around, and I was like, Oh, that's so! And so's boy. I wonder where they are

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Bold Little Minds: like. I should not recognize that child. I've never met them in my life. I haven't seen that girl for 20 years.

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Bold Little Minds: I should barely even recognize her. So I hate that feeling of when you get to a gathering with somebody that you haven't seen in a long time, and there's just nothing to talk about, because they know everything that you've been doing.

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Bold Little Minds: So I along. I never really was active on social media. I've always been a lurker.

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Bold Little Minds: and I have this like fear. Maybe it's a fear. Maybe it's just a boundary of

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Bold Little Minds: sharing, oversharing or sharing with people that I'm not connected to like. If you want to know me, you need to put in the work to be in my life.

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Bold Little Minds: So

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Bold Little Minds: posting anything on social media has been a huge.

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Bold Little Minds: a huge bound, a huge leap right getting over that fear, getting over that boundary.

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Bold Little Minds: but figuring out where it fits. I don't share too much about my kids. I share some of the things that I think all moms can relate to. And I share activities that we do like things that are very superficial, like you don't actually know me and my life from these things.

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Bold Little Minds: but I still have a hesitation of sharing my business on my personal social media.

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Bold Little Minds: So even though my businesses are all social, they're all out there. I'm now selling locally. I'm selling products locally in stores that I should be promoting because I know that there are people in my life that would love to support me. Whether I've seen them in 10 years or not.

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Bold Little Minds: I still don't do that. So those are the things that I still face.

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Lindsay Ford: Yeah. Just to touch on what you said there about like the boundaries and social media cause, I have the opposite

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Lindsay Ford: experience. Where I am posting so much of my life on social media and my kids. And

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Lindsay Ford: sometimes they do question, like, you know, where is that boundary? Because my page is public and people do get to know me. And it is weird when I'm like out at a park or on a hike. And someone comes up to me, and they're just like they they know what's going on in my life, and

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Lindsay Ford: there is, you know, what from from in in on one hand, I really do like that.

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Lindsay Ford: People know me, and it feels good to me to do that.

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Lindsay Ford: There is the other hand of just like you know, how easy would it be for someone to come up to my kids and convince them that they're a friend of mine, or they know, like, right like there's a security safety aspect to it as well.

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Lindsay Ford: And I don't know where

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Lindsay Ford: the boundary lies, but I certainly can understand where your hesitation

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Lindsay Ford: is

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Lindsay Ford: in terms of like. It is weird when people know things about me, and it is weird, knowing things about other people, when you haven't even talked to them for potentially years. And you're just like I know what you did last Saturday, and I know where you are right now.

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Lindsay Ford: It's it's a. Really.

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Lindsay Ford: it's a weird world with the social media is a really weird world.

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Lindsay Ford: And

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Lindsay Ford: I want to just dive into that fear and hesitation around sharing

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Lindsay Ford: your business stuff in your personal

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Lindsay Ford: friend.

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Lindsay Ford: social media circle, or just circle in general. Because I know that you know in the business I am in.

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Lindsay Ford: and in my own experience it is way more nerve wracking. I feel like sharing things with people you actually know versus strangers.

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Lindsay Ford: and I'm curious to know. I mean, I'm happy to share what comes up for me. But like I'm curious to know if you've reflected on like, where exactly that fear lies, or what? Specifically, you're afraid of

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Lindsay Ford: people either seeing or judging about you, or what what that is.

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Lindsay Ford: So I think I.

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Bold Little Minds: Two-part answer for this. Yeah, one is, I think, part of it starts from my teaching background.

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Bold Little Minds: Because

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Bold Little Minds: when you're a teacher, you are 2 very distinct. 2 different people who you are at school during work time, and who you are at home are are just 2 different hats. So I'm very used to having like this switch in identity

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Bold Little Minds: when I was teaching. I was 20, you know, when I 1st started and doing all kinds of things, that 20 something year olds do that, you know, I would come into work, not necessarily feeling great the next day sometimes, and you know you just hide it, and you put on your face, and you are somebody different, and then you go home and you feel crummy. And you drink that gatorade and all those things at the end of the day.

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Bold Little Minds: So and I did things like I worked in a bar where I did trivia nights. I was. I was a trivia host.

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Bold Little Minds: and my students didn't know about that. And many of my coworkers didn't know about that, because it's just we're here to for students. We're not here to share our lives. So I think, having that guarded piece, knowing that I could lose my job

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Bold Little Minds: for my identity outside of school, because there are ethics. Clauses like their contract can be terminated for

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Bold Little Minds: your ethics, for things that you're doing outside of the classroom that don't necessarily vibe with a teacher.

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Bold Little Minds: So there might be a there's probably a big piece to that. I just it's the culture. And I became used to that. But then, alternatively.

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Bold Little Minds: it it sucks when you get rejected by people, you know.

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Bold Little Minds: when people don't listen to your podcast

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Bold Little Minds: even once that you've shared it with, I don't expect all of my friends and family to be long term listeners, but just like, listen to one that would be nice, and give me a little feedback, or even just like a gold star. Great job I liked it.

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Bold Little Minds: or I didn't. Whatever just something, or seeing your posts like I have friends who know that I have this page, and still they're not seeing anything that I'm doing, and it's very clear, and it's

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Bold Little Minds: like that's the choice. But I feel like as myself as a friend. If somebody had something going on, I'd I'd be on there all the time liking, posting, commenting, sharing all the things.

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Bold Little Minds: So it's that expectation of

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Bold Little Minds: who you are as a friend, and what you think is a valuable piece of supporting a friend.

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Bold Little Minds: and then not getting those back just from the people who are closest to you. Never mind the people who are on your outer perimeter. It's like.

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Bold Little Minds: and how far of this do I want to go before I'm starting to feel really rejected, because there's always that imposter syndrome.

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Bold Little Minds: I think every person has it like. I have no business doing this. I have no business having a podcast and having a business. And all these things like, who am I?

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Bold Little Minds: And

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Bold Little Minds: it's like like, confirmation. Bias. Then, when other people in your circle are like.

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Bold Little Minds: Yeah, this this is nothing. This is nothing to me.

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Bold Little Minds: So like you don't need that. Whereas social media friends, people you don't even know are going to be your number one cheerleaders, because they're also they know the hustle. They know the work. They know what you're doing to to feel, to put yourself out there. They know that vulnerability. They feel that.

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Bold Little Minds: So they're going to support your vulnerability and and give you the high 5, so that I feel like is much more rewarding than the danger of the.

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Bold Little Minds: And then, thanks, thanks, but no thanks like your vulnerability meant nothing that was.

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Bold Little Minds: and that was not important to me.

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Lindsay Ford: Yeah, it's a weird dynamic I can definitely relate to the imposter syndrome stuff, although the more I put myself out there and share, and just

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Lindsay Ford: the more I do it, it's like building a muscle. It's just like, Yeah, I'm just going to show up as me. And like, you can react how you want to.

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Lindsay Ford: But there's also this really interesting piece that you know, I've just sort of started learning about in terms of people not like the people that you think should be like your biggest cheerleaders, your closest friends, your family members.

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Lindsay Ford: They're almost

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Lindsay Ford: too close to you, or too like you're too much of a mirror for what they're not doing.

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Lindsay Ford: and

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Lindsay Ford: it brings up insecurities in them, or they want to

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Lindsay Ford: even sometimes knock you down a Peg, because you're going after what you want, you're doing something different. You're doing something unconventional. You're saying, hey? I don't like, you know.

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Lindsay Ford: not like I don't want to put my kids in childcare. I don't want to go back to work. I'm going to try to do this, and it's like

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Lindsay Ford: it shows them, too, what they are not, if they put, might perhaps have the same desire, some of them not all of them, but

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Lindsay Ford: they're also not willing to take those steps, and I do feel like sometimes

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Lindsay Ford: it's the people closest to you

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Lindsay Ford: that are not your biggest cheerleaders. And I it is extremely hurtful, and you know your family and the people closest to you. It's like, you know. They'll say I don't want to get see? You get hurt, you know. Why don't you get a job like, go back to some safety here.

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Lindsay Ford: but it's really all their own

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Lindsay Ford: stuff.

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Lindsay Ford: And that's been a big lesson

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Lindsay Ford: for me to learn, because, you know, when you have people close to you, either just not responding or not encouraging you.

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Lindsay Ford: or

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Lindsay Ford: even just I. I'm I'm trying to think I I don't think I've had any like outright, like

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Lindsay Ford: harsh words like on social media, or anything like saying like, no, you shouldn't be doing this. You're not qualified to do this, or like what? Like anything like that, but definitely like in private conversations. It's more like, what are you doing, Lindsay. We're like a little bit worried about this path that you're on

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Lindsay Ford: like, and they come at it from like concern

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Lindsay Ford: and and not support. And it.

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Lindsay Ford: It's just a really interesting dynamic, because it's like they just they don't see the bigger picture for you.

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Lindsay Ford: Or it just takes them a while to

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Lindsay Ford: get their head around things like, I know I've had so many discussions with my parents over the years for how I live my life in terms of, you know, 1st walking away from that really good job with a good salary and the security of, you know, benefits and pension plan, and all of that, and then walking away from a marriage and the security of that, and having a house. And and

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Lindsay Ford: you know, with my parents specifically, it's been like

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Lindsay Ford: me breaking their dreams for me, even though I feel like I'm freeing myself. It's they're just like all this security and vision that they had for my life. I'm just like

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Lindsay Ford: destroying it, even though I feel

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Lindsay Ford: way more

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Lindsay Ford: inspired and empowered. And like, I'm on the right path, it's just really it's just a really interesting dynamic, because the people that have known you know you the best and knew you in a version of yourself. You know, when it's come back to the identity piece, you know.

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Lindsay Ford: when you know I was like.

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Lindsay Ford: you know, wearing my suits every day and like, and in my job, people knew me in that role. And now I am changing as a person as I'm going into further into entrepreneurship, further into traveling. And whatever it is, and it's like

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Lindsay Ford: they're like, who is this person?

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Lindsay Ford: And it's unnerving for them. They're just they're like, I don't know how to relate to you. I don't know what you're doing. I don't know. You're just changing so much.

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Bold Little Minds: It's like there was a glitch in the system like they had this like, people

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Bold Little Minds: always ask the What's next questions, right? Whether they how many people actually care? Right? They're just asking, because that's what's next. It's like, we're moving on like, Oh, when you're getting married, when you having the baby when you having the next baby? When are they doing this? When are they going to school? When are the other things? And that's just what you do. It's like the script right? Like we all have the script. We all have that expectation, and and you just ask it whether you actually care or not. And then, when you do something that breaks the script.

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Bold Little Minds: it's like well, but but I don't. I don't know what the word I don't know like that's not where we were going. What are we going to do with this? So I get it. It's like, it's it's just like when a marriage ends, you know, when you have a friend, I have friends that have gotten divorced, and it's like, but but like this is the image. This was the thing. What do we do? And it's devastating for everybody. But then everybody moves on and becomes who they are in other ways, too. So

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Bold Little Minds: like when you. When I stopped working, I would have people that would be like coworkers that would say to me.

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Bold Little Minds: What are you gonna do? Just not work

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Bold Little Minds: like, yeah, yeah, that's what I'm going to do. And the question would be, well, and and every a lot of people ask me this like neighbors. And you know all kinds of people.

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Bold Little Minds: Well, when are you going back to work? I don't know, like we're just gonna go with it. And whatever happens, happens, and if something feels like it's not working, then we'll adjust.

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Bold Little Minds: Well, well, don't, don't you need to work?

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Bold Little Minds: Well, we made. We planned for this like we. We made good choices. And and you know we're we're all we're doing fine. Thank you. So yeah, it's just it breaks that script, and they don't know where to go with it.

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Lindsay Ford: I love how you just described it as a glitch in the system. It's totally like such an accurate description, and it's like, wait what what I don't understand how to compute like, compute this in my brain.

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Bold Little Minds: Simulation. The matrix is not working.

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Lindsay Ford: I know.

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Lindsay Ford: Oh, my goodness! One thing I wanted to touch on before we wrap up. You made a comment in your application form when you were filling it out and helping me prepare for this, you said, Follow your dreams, but don't wait for the big one. Get started on the little steps today, and the big picture will start to become clear.

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Lindsay Ford: I wonder if you can just expand on that? Because I feel like it's such a good nugget, because we're so often we want to know the end result or the big picture before being willing to take the 1st step. So what's your experience with that.

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Bold Little Minds: I have always felt like I have something there, something waiting, something going, something big

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Bold Little Minds: and

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Bold Little Minds: like. I know I wanted to have a business, and I know I still want to have one.

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Bold Little Minds: And

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Bold Little Minds: it's like trying to figure out what's that idea? What's the thing? And it you get stuck in a loop

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Bold Little Minds: like, Okay, well, is my. And you like, look on on forums. What have other people done? I could do that, but they just did that, and that was big there. Or I could do this like, you're trying to find the idea.

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Bold Little Minds: And that's just not how it works. Most of the time like, of course, there's those people that do get those ideas, but it's usually not without

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Bold Little Minds: so many years of things that failed and things that didn't work, or or the pieces leading up to it. So

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Bold Little Minds: letting go of that idea of that, what's next? Right or that? Where's the matrix taking me and thinking.

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Bold Little Minds: What can I do now? What's going to bring me joy? Now, what are my big pain points? So for me it was.

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Bold Little Minds: I don't feel creative, and I don't feel productive.

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Bold Little Minds: I no longer have those things that I can check off a box and on my to do list. And somebody's going to say to me, wow! That was great. Thank you. Or you're doing such a good job at your job. You have people that tell me I'm doing a good job, but it's not the same. Mothering is not rewarding in the moment, like there are rewarding things, but on a day to day basis. It is not

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Bold Little Minds: nobody's saying good job with the dishes. So.

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Lindsay Ford: True.

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Bold Little Minds: Right? So for me it was trying to figure out, what are those pain points? What are those things and what what's going to fulfill that. And then even that you can break down to a microcosm of what is the big thing like, I wasn't feeling creative. Okay? Well, then, should I start knitting?

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Bold Little Minds: Should I start crocheting? Am I going to learn this new craft? Should I go buy all this cross stitch stuff so you can go to Michael's and come home with everything, and then never pick it up. So even that can be a really big idea. Because now you're not just thinking, I'm going to cross, stitch this one little design, or I'm not going to crochet this like scarf. I'm going to crochet this stuffed animal, and it's going to be great.

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Bold Little Minds: but to get there you have to start with the small thing. So

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Bold Little Minds: just picking something up like for me, it was starting a social, a public social media account.

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Bold Little Minds: And I just started posting the things that I was already doing. And I was already thinking. And then for my business. It was. I needed activities that my 2 year old could do

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Bold Little Minds: independently, so I could make sure that the baby didn't die

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Bold Little Minds: and I was finding that, my kid all the activity I was always getting for him, he couldn't do independently, because, like the Mickey Mouse book would say that you get from the dollar tree would say, like circle, all the things that are blue.

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Bold Little Minds: and there was no clear objective, otherwise it was very clear that there was something you were supposed to do on this page that is defined.

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Bold Little Minds: and he couldn't. He wanted to know what that was. He wanted to know what he was supposed to do so I needed. So I just started designing these little things, these little pictures and activities that he could do independently. And it just kind of started from there. And thinking, I can share that with the world, why not like I designed. I made this. I can put it on teachers, pay teachers. I could put it out here. I put it out there

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Bold Little Minds: sending out

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Bold Little Minds: a little email to somebody like I made this. Maybe maybe you want to have it in your store.

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Bold Little Minds: So doing the things that are going to fix your problems.

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Bold Little Minds: fix help you meet your needs.

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Bold Little Minds: and then just letting it go seeing where it takes you, sharing it with other people.

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Bold Little Minds: Those are the small ideas that can spiral into something that's just so big like I just had somebody on my podcast who was making burp cloth for her daughter, and she would. She would

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Bold Little Minds: start to share that with her friends and her friends would ask for customized things. And now she's got this, these multiple successful businesses.

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Bold Little Minds: And she didn't go into it thinking I'm going to start this successful business, because if she did she would have never started. She would have never been known where to go, but because she knew she needed these burp cloths for her baby and wanted to do something sweet for her passion.

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Bold Little Minds: It just blossomed from there. You just take it one step at a time, so it doesn't have to be starting a business. It doesn't have to be being successful and making money. It could just be, you want to get fit

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Bold Little Minds: right. Some people we all have this goal of, I should be more active.

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Bold Little Minds: But what does that mean? It doesn't mean you're going to all of a sudden be able to lift all these weights and work out for an hour or fit all these things in. Maybe it just means getting out the door, going for a 10 min walk

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Bold Little Minds: like, what is that small step? Because it might lead to you, actually feeling stronger

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Bold Little Minds: and feeling like you're more passionate about exercising. So whatever that thing is, wherever that pain point is, your goal doesn't have to be making money. It doesn't have to be starting a business, because that's not everybody. It doesn't have to be being social. That's not everybody, but

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Bold Little Minds: working from that small idea and then letting it become the big idea, whatever that is. You got to start somewhere.

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Lindsay Ford: Yeah, I love that because I 100% agree. That's been my whole journey the last few years, maybe even before that. But I've really been paying conscious attention to the last few years like it just starts with something small, something that inspires you.

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Lindsay Ford: and you don't need to know where it's going. And I mean, it even comes back to what you said earlier about the Rolling Stones concert, and like you never know when, like

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Lindsay Ford: your small idea is going to just like you're going to meet someone who's going to give you a different idea. And

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Lindsay Ford: like, that is the beauty of life. And yeah, I think so many people are like, find your purpose, find your purpose. And it feels big and overwhelming. And they're just like sitting around waiting for something to happen to them, but it really is in the act of taking small steps forward, doing something that inspires you in the moment with no attachment to outcome, and just seeing how it evolves.

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Lindsay Ford: So I love that.

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Lindsay Ford: So if people want to connect with you, where can they find you?

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Bold Little Minds: Yes, so you can find me. I'm most active on Instagram, but I'm also on Facebook and Tiktok at bold little minds.

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Bold Little Minds: I'm at boldlittleminds.com is my website. I just started a sub stack for my, podcast the bold little minds momcast. But you can find it anywhere. Spotify apple Amazon and Youtube video, but on my sub stack, which is completely free, I have an abridged version of my episodes as well as a bonus episode, where we continue our conversations and a blog text summary of the episode, and that gets sent straight to mailboxes. So

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Bold Little Minds: no searching necessary totally free to access, that my podcast, is about moms sharing their stories and feeling less isolated, sharing their activity, ideas, their wisdom, the things that the knowledge and the expertise that you gain in motherhood that you aren't able to share anymore, because

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Bold Little Minds: it's now overreaching when you share your knowledge and your base, your what you've learned, it's it's now overstepping on people, which is tough, because in the professional world it's just collaborating and networking.

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Bold Little Minds: But in motherhood it's it's a different thing. So this is, it gives people an opportunity to kind of share those things, but also feel less alone and feel more connected.

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Bold Little Minds: So those are. Those are the places where you can find me.

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Lindsay Ford: Amazing. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with us today. I've really enjoyed this conversation.

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Bold Little Minds: Me, too, and I look forward to having you on my podcast as well. So for your listeners.

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Lindsay Ford: Centers. You can hear.

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Bold Little Minds: More of Lindsay over there soon.

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Lindsay Ford: Perfect.