Episode 48 - Amanda Russo: Playing in the Contrast of Mindset, Breathwork & Divorce

Divorce can be messy and it’s something that no one ever thinks they’ll go through. But, as Amanda Russo reminds us, we can have compassion for everyone involved who is going through one of the hardest times of their lives.

Amanda is a breathwork facilitator and a family law paralegal, and we get into the nitty gritty of divorce as well as using breathwork to heal.

Buckle up! It’s an episode filled with contrast that’ll make you reflect on your own life.

More about Amanda 👇
Amanda Russo, The Breathing Goddess, is a Breathwork Detox facilitator, Reiki Level II Facilitator, host of the podcast “Manders Mindset”, and a family law paralegal specializing in Divorce law.

Connect with Amanda Russo 👇

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thebreathinggoddess?igsh=NHRzajlvZGM3M2Q1&utm_source=qr

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/j5znFMed6BwLo45C/?mibextid=LQQJ4d

Podcast: https://mandersmindset.buzzsprout.com/

YouTube: https://youtube.com/@mandersmindset?si=4iSovrFVMHyPjzjX

If you want to break free from the 9 to 5 or spend more time with your family, then check out this FREE webinar that goes over exactly what I'm doing to create time and financial freedom.
https://www.breakingfreewithlindsay.com/learn

If you ever have any questions or want to reach out - I'd love to connect with you. Send me a DM on Facebook (it's the best way to reach me!)

Transcript

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Lindsay Ford: All right. I have Amanda Russo here with me today. Breath sorry breathwork, facilitator and host of the Amanda's mindset, podcast welcome, Amanda.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate it.

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Lindsay Ford: Hopefully that intro is not a sign of what's to come in terms of me. Stumbling over my word.

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Lindsay Ford: let's get started anyways, one of the things that struck me in your application form was just your work with mindset, and I would love for you to share your journey into like. How did you end up in this mindset and empowerment space.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: So from honestly as young as I can remember. I've always been just the type of person to

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: help other people feel seen and heard. And

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: I'm a really nonjudgmental person, you know. I feel like a lot of people say that. But I have always been someone who really isn't, you know, and something. One of my earliest memories that I have is my grandma saying to me, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all, and it was one of those

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: that I really reflected with her on a lot of things, and like delved more into that. And she was always like, you know, and she even said something else to me that

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: really resonated with me was

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: something that might take you 5 seconds to say might last in someone's head for 5 years. And I was like, Wow.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: and even as a little kid, I remember being like, even if I'd have that judgment, you know what I'm just going to think it.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: I'm just not gonna say it. I'm going to write it. I'm not going to tell them, because it's like

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: you don't have to hurt somebody's feelings, and I've always, even as as a young kid tried to empower other people because of that, because it's like

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: I might you might say something jokingly or teasing wise, and it might really affect somebody on a deeper level, you know. So

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: I've just always had that mindset.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: Then, growing up, I got involved in working with kids worked in daycares, worked in group homes, just wanting to empower like younger people where like it starts

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: where it starts, you know, teaching them the basics like being kind to one another like again, it comes back to like if you don't have anything nice to say just shut up like, why do you have to say say the hopeful thing? You know it was one of those to me that, like I was bullied growing up for being overweight. And

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: logically I never understood why it bothered other kids. If I was fat like, why does it matter to you like, what difference does it make to you if I'm not a good looking kid.

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Lindsay Ford: Right.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: Let me let me be, you know.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: so yeah.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: I don't know where you want me to. I can keep going.

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Lindsay Ford: No, no, that's a.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: With that.

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Lindsay Ford: No, I have one question for you, or just one thought that comes up because I, too, grew up with that sort of phrase like, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

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Lindsay Ford: and generally I agree with it. I don't think it serves anyone any good to

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Lindsay Ford: call people names, or to be intentionally cruel to them.

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Lindsay Ford: I'm curious what your

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Lindsay Ford: experiences like in terms of like

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Lindsay Ford: I'll say, either saying no, or standing up for yourself, or where it gets like a little bit uncomfortable, where the other person might have a reaction. But you still want to be kind like. How do you weigh that sort of, you know.

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Lindsay Ford: intention to not hurt anyone and to be kind, but also still respecting yourself, and not censoring yourself to a point of where it's then hurting you.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: That that's definitely been a challenge, for sure, just because.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: again, I've always had the mindset of not wanting to hurt other people wanting to be kind, wanting to help out if I can again, because even as someone who was bullied for for so many years of my life, I

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: never wanted to put anybody else down, even by saying No, potentially

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: So it's been tough. It's led to a lot of people pleasing. And it's been.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: It's been a balance of trying to find the right way to say things. Which is there ever really a right way? But just also, like basically

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: saying like, where, where, how? I'm seeing things, and you know how I'm seeing things as an outsider almost like, here's where I'm coming from like here. Here's my situation as a person, not even just as me, you know, and trying to help

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: the other person see that as best I can.

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Lindsay Ford: Yeah, no, I appreciate that. You that you shared that. It's been a challenge, because that so many people wrestle with this challenge. And

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Lindsay Ford: I think I think it's just helpful to know that other people are going through similar things, and it is just like.

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Lindsay Ford: you know, there's no one that has it figured out there's so many nuances. You could say one thing to one person, and then the exact same thing in the exact, same way to another person, and they could interpret it entirely different, based on you know what's going on that in that day, or you know what their you know. Pain points are their insecurities, and you can only do so much. But I think just like.

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Lindsay Ford: you know, being intentional of you know, when you're bullying someone else, or you're saying something mean or trying to hurt. People like that has more to do with what's going inside on inside of yourself than it does with the other person right? So even just like having the self awareness to recognize when you want to lash out at others, and where, when it like, might not be a good time for you to actually like, engage in that conversation and share whatever is on your mind.

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Lindsay Ford: I am curious. Because you work in the divorce realm. And why don't you share just a little bit about what you do? Because I think you know, there's a lot of

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Lindsay Ford: hurt feelings and anger in that space. So I'm curious to get into into that piece of it a little bit.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: Yeah, absolutely. And backtracking real quick. One thing that has helped me in terms of the not lashing out even kind of could help in terms of divorces.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: asking myself, What am I saying this for? Like cause? We all will get upset over something, or and we'll say, want to say something, and you know I also sometimes have the mindset of. I want to help the people in my life like level up. But is it? Is it me helping them level up? Or am I being too harsh? So it's like, What are you saying this for? This comment that you're making? Why are you making it.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: Yeah, I love that. What's the what's the reason.

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Lindsay Ford: Yeah. And sometimes even like you helping them, or at least in my experience, you know me trying to help someone. They might not want my help. And so like, that's more self-serving because I want to be like the one that comes in and helps them.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: It's so true.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: so true.

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Lindsay Ford: So nuanced. All right. What? What type of work do you do in the divorce space?

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: So I'm a family law paralegal work with divorce clients, child custody, child support. So all of the family dynamics and I've done it for about 4 years, and I've seen

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: a wide range of things, you know, like I had an attorney say to me once, you will see the worst side of someone doing a divorce. Even the best people, you know. You will see the worst side of them when they go through divorce, and

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: I witnessed that to be true in a lot of a lot of cases, you know, it's just

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: people get so petty when when that gets involved.

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Lindsay Ford: What do you think it is like?

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Lindsay Ford: What creates the pettiness.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: It's it's so hard to say. You know, I feel like it's different.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: Different. Po couple, po relationship, you know, like.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: but generally.

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Lindsay Ford: Speaking.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: I feel like a lot of times. There's like this one thing, every couple. It varies. But there's this one thing that somebody else does. You know, I think a lot of times it has to do with something with the kids

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: or something with a new partner. It's usually one of the 2, and it's it's it could be something small that happens. It could be something big, but it's

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: it's usually from what I've seen. It's a trigger with one of the other 2. Either one side has has a partner sooner than the other side expected, or one side one side's not agreeable for something in terms of the kids and

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: people use the kids so much for so many different things. And and even in situations you would never expect like we've had. We've had men want more parenting time so he can pay less child support. And I'm like you don't even care to see this kid. You just want to pay less like.

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Lindsay Ford: Right.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: And and

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: it's you're fucking up so many kids. Excuse my language.

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Lindsay Ford: Yeah, it's fun.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: It's like, you know. And then we wonder why we have a mental health crisis. But it's like

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: I had a man literally say to me that he needs to pay less child support. He's like, so just give me the kid more. And I was like, what do you mean? Give you the kid more like

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: it. There's there's documents and pleadings, and all this stuff that has to be fired. I can't just give you your kid more. So you have a it's just like, or then you have different. And it's it's on both sides. Then you have, like women saying different things about the father, or subtly, or the kids hearing different things. And it's just

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: it's it's crazy, you know

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: that. And I don't. I don't really know what the solution is, you know, to

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: fix the broken system.

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Lindsay Ford: Do you think it's the system? Do you think it's the people like, I don't know? Like I went through a divorce. It was an amicable divorce. We didn't.

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Lindsay Ford: We fought a lot.

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Lindsay Ford: I'll say a lot. It wasn't a lot. But we fought basically before we decided to separate. And then, and then, once we were going through the divorce process. It was not so bad.

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Lindsay Ford: And we always had, like the kids, best interest in mind, and it just like floors me, because I do have a bunch of friends who are at various stages in the divorce process, and

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Lindsay Ford: how the kids are used

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Lindsay Ford: as leverage is just like it's mind blowing to me, and even just like wanting to drag it on longer than it really needs to, because you're not willing to let go of something like really small, and the amount of money that costs you like it is just like it. It's so. It like defies all of my like logic and reason. How do you?

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Lindsay Ford: How do you like sort of see that side of people, and not get demoralized.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: Honestly, it's just understanding that, like these people

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: are coming to us at at some of the most difficult times of their lives.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: you know in.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: I'll never forget. When I interviewed for the 1st time ever being a family law paralegal like I had worked at a law office, but we did civil law, and the attorney was talking to me, and he's like you've got to understand, like family law is different. And I was like, I get that. And he's like, you know.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: everybody when they're going to a lawyer they're going through things. But when you are coming to a family lawyer like you are going through

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: some of the most difficult times of your life because you're either fighting to keep your kids. You're losing a relationship that you didn't plan on losing like nobody gets married thinking they're going to get divorced, you know which which is true. He's like, you know, there's not a single person a single client we have that ever thought they would use us. And I was like, Oh.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: that if you think about it like that like not that you think you're going to need a personal injury, lawyer, but like you might get in an accident, you know, you're likely to have an accident at some point in your life like you don't expect that if you get married you're ever going to go to a divorce attorney, and I was like

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: like that was a big eye opener for me, like most of these people never expected to be interacting with us. So it's a different level of compassion. Because

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: again, it's not like something you expected. It's not like they they did something wrong, for example, you know. Like, of course, yes, there's pettiness. Yeah, there's

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: this one's right. This one's wrong, but they never. They really never expected this. So it's almost like

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: they're blindsided. And I, you know, my uncle. So I've never been married. I mentioned this to you like off air, but my my uncle went through a nasty divorce, nasty divorce, and I was at the age where I was about 12,

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: so I was young, but I saw a lot of it, and it was to the point where he stopped seeing his kids, and our whole life shifted. He moved in with me, my mom, my grandparents, and I just stopped seeing 2 of my cousins.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: and I haven't seen them again. He has seen them since, but it was about 1213 years before he saw them again.

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Lindsay Ford: Wow!

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: So.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: yeah.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: yeah.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: so

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: it's, I've seen a lot of a lot of sides to it. And it's just

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: meeting people with that compassion, because again they they never expected it, you know, like

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: I again didn't experience the divorce with my parents or with myself, but I saw within the family. Oh, one day, here's my aunt! Here's my 2 cousins. Then, next thing you know, I never see these people ever again. I'm 12 years old. My uncle then moves in with me, and it's just like, Oh, like it was fine like. But it was just this shift within my family, and I was like

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: something. Something's not right here. And I was also at that curiosity age where I was talking to him. And I'm like, why are you living here like? What's the real deal like? Why are you here? And of course he started talking to me about some stuff, and I'm like

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: this woman just says different stuff, and she knows people within the legal system. And it's a he said she said thing, and

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: he's now dealing with. He's going to jail for this. He's, and it's like.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: it's, it's so. It's so messed up. And I was like, I,

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: I want to try to help people going through this because

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: it's an awful thing to go through. Yeah, maybe there's worse things. I haven't gone through it personally, so I can't really compare. But

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: I think it's really awful, because it's blindsiding, and you don't expect it like no one gets married regardless of what you think about the marriage like, regardless of how old you are regardless of. If you want kids, if any of the factors you don't walk down the aisle, or even if you elope like, you don't get married and think

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: one day I'm gonna get divorced.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: Nobody does.

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Lindsay Ford: Yeah, you go into marriage thinking it's forever. And you go in with that intention. Yeah. So all divorces. You're right. Nobody plans on that when they 1st get married.

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Lindsay Ford: So how do you help people navigate? Then? This, you know, this emotional process, one of their lowest moments. What is your role. And like, How do you? How do? Yeah, how do you help them navigate.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: It. It's definitely tough, because I I speak with all the clients pretty regularly. But even just really trying to remind them that it's it's just a season

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: like the divorce per se, like, yes, if they have kids, they're gonna be interacting and dealing with

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: this other individual, likely for 18 years. But the divorce and the worst of it isn't going to last forever and just trying to remind them of that, and even reminding them of like that attorney had said to me. You know

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: you're not seeing the good side of your partner, and like, you know, maybe I don't know what your relationship was ever like with them. Maybe you can even say that to them. Maybe you can say, Look, listen! Neither one of us are showing our best sides here, but that's that's common with divorce, like I've had a woman that I said that to, you know, and I was like

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: at 1 point like I. It seemed like you and your husband could be amicable. Maybe you even say to him, you know, my attorney said to me, or my paralegal said to me. We see the worst sides of people during divorce. Maybe we could try to make this a little better, and even telling them, like

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: you think your your partner wants this to be nasty like they. They don't want that either, realistically, you know. Maybe they're upset that you now have a boyfriend which

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: maybe you would have been if if they were the 1st one, and like even trying to like help them see? Like.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: okay, yes, maybe he handled it in a way you wouldn't have. But how would you have felt if he was the one to get the girlfund first? st

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: Okay, yeah, you moved on, but you must still might. It still might have stung a little.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: you know, and just like helping them try to look at it.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: What if it wasn't you like. What if you were talking to your best friend.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: you know, like, what would you say to your best friend?

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: And I like. I've said that to a woman as well, and because I was like, you know.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: he he's upset that you now have a boyfriend, and you want to introduce the boyfriend to the kids. And she was like, I don't understand why he's upset. Blah blah. And I'm like.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: Okay, well, let me ask you a question. And she was like, yeah. And I was like, if your best friend was going through divorce, and she was in the same exact situation as you've been married, the same amount of time. Would you understand at all why the husband's a little like.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: and she's like, well, maybe because he's iffy about this new person in the kid's life because the kids are young. It's like, yeah, your kids are under 10. Okay, that's that's a factor like taking that step back and being like, hmm!

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: If this was happening to, I really like to compare it to somebody we're close to whether it's our kid, whether it's our best friend, because, like we're we're nice to the people we love the most.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: You know. So it's like, what would you say to them like.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: you know? So.

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Lindsay Ford: Are there any people so just like going back to your mindset work or like perspective when people come in to you? Are there any like

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Lindsay Ford: anything you've noticed from a mindset perspective of the people coming in where you're just like this is, gonna be

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Lindsay Ford: easier or harder, or like they're making things worse for themselves, like like, what are you seeing in respect to the mindset? If you've noticed, I'm sure you've noticed.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: Yeah, so. And honestly, it's funny that you say making it harder, because I've actually said that exact line to people, because so I live in Massachusetts. So it's Massachusetts laws that we're practicing. And one thing, for example, is something called a rule 410, a bunch of different financial documents that both sides on the side of divorce have to submit. And it's extensive. So we're talking 3 years of tax returns.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: 3 years of bank statements, every bank account that your name's on. You've got a kid that you've never deposited a penny into their account. Your name's on it. We need the statement, and

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: there's a lot of clients that don't necessarily want to go through this process. And you know it's even more so than men that I've noticed honestly are kind of slackers and don't want to put in the effort to get me these documents, and I'll be like pulling teeth. And it's all these reminders, and I'm calling them, and I've gotten sworn at. I've gotten yelled at. What do I need these for? Blah blah! And it's I'll tell them straight up. Listen.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: This is not. You think I want to look through your bank statements? I have to look through all of these. You think I really want to do this. I don't love doing this. This is not my favorite part of my job like, listen, and your wife still has to submit these, too, and whether that she tells you she has to or not, so you can either submit these to me easily or the longer it takes. It's just going to drag out your divorce.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: Oh, that's not true! And I said, or they'll ask me, will a Tony so and so say that to me, yeah. And if you don't believe me. I can set up a time for you to ask him. He will like he will, and it's just like telling them that, you know, because again you have the other sides that will always be like well, my wife told me she doesn't have to do this. Listen, Buddy.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: even if she told you that? I promise you she does. She might have told her attorney. She's not doing it, but per the court and per the state she has to like. The court will order it if it gets to that point, like we've had problematic clients that the court will get to the point where they will order you by court of law to like, submit these documents, and you have X amount of time to do it if you really don't. And it's like just

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: getting to the point of reasoning with them and being like, listen like I've even said, do you think I want to look through 3 years of bank statements like that is not my favorite thing to do at 9 Am. On a Monday like it's not.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: And he was like, Did you just say, you don't want. Yeah, I did. Yes, I did just tell you. I don't feel like doing that, because that's not my favorite thing. I have plenty of other things I'd rather do, and I'm like, but it's it's something I have to do again, like this is something you have to do and kind of just bringing it back to that

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: that human aspect of being like. Listen like

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: you know, and reason reasoning with them as best you can. You will always have those like

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: problematic clients that will give you the hard time, like I've I've been sworn out. I've been hung up on, and it's just

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: you deal with that, you send them an email. And it's like, listen, here's the deal. Here's the reminder. And

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: yeah.

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Lindsay Ford: Yeah.

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Lindsay Ford: So I'm curious now, because you do breath work. I know you also do some reiki. Obviously the mindset stuff which seems like.

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Lindsay Ford: oh, I don't even know how to phrase this, but it's like, you know, in a world where it seems more kumbaya like energy like like use your heart compassion like la la! And then you're in this divorce world. It seems like the exact opposite. And I I mean, I can see how the 2 could like like one could help the other. But like.

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Lindsay Ford: how do you play in that that contrast of

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Lindsay Ford: and and like? How do those relate? How do they play together like, make it make sense to me.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: It is. It is a little bit of a contrast that it no, it really is so

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: honestly. I haven't always been in the energy. La, la Breathwork realm. But so I knew I wanted to get involved in the legal field back

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: as young as I want to say, around 12. So like, even when I went to college, I pursued a bachelor's in legal studies.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: Started going down the Paralegal route from there.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: And now I was in high school. I did yoga for the 1st time, not in a spiritual aspect, but I really enjoyed it. Then I went to college, got involved in a pretty toxic relationship. So I kind of got out of all of that, all of the spirituality, all of the yoga. I wasn't

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: anything mindful mindset. None of it. I wasn't listening to podcasts. I wasn't meditating. I wasn't

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: doing any of that post college. We broke up. I started getting involved in fitness, and that was kind of like the leeway for me to personal development, self healing, the energy realm.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: and that started a lot for me. I lost and maintained a 70 pound weight loss over time, and then I got involved with Yoga was doing yoga. For a couple of years I had had experience with Waiki. I did some plant medicines which opened my eyes a lot.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: and then I was just posting on my Instagram story about different Yoga classes I was going to, and a friend of mine was telling me, oh, you've got to try this breathwork detox. You got to try this breathwork detox. I'm like, yeah, okay, I was thinking, like, I know how to breathe. I didn't say that. But that's literally what I was thinking.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: And I'm like, I'll try it at some point. I'll try it at some point fast forward to January. It was actually the anniversary of my grandma's passing, and honestly, I just didn't want to sit home alone, and I was like this woman was hosting a breath work session in person. I'm like, you know what I'm going to go. I don't know what this is. I have no idea what I'm getting myself into. I feel like I'm going to be meditating, and it's funny because I called my mom on the way. And I was like, Oh, I'm going to this breathwork class, and she's like, what is that?

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: It's like? It's meditating. She's like you're going to meditate for an hour and a half, and I'm like, I don't know. But I'm gonna I guess maybe I don't fucking know, and I loved it. I absolutely loved it. I went into it because even more so. It was the anniversary of my grandma's passing, so I was kind of fixated on the grief on the melancholy state, and just thinking all these

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: things. I wish could have been like she didn't get to see me graduate high school. I wish she did. I wish she got. I wish she got to live longer. I wish she got to see this. All these coulda shoulda things

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: and post the breathwork session. I literally reframed every negative thought I had about it. And I was like.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: this is cool. Okay? So I literally felt like I transformed my grief to gratitude because.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: instead of thinking, Oh, I didn't get to. She didn't get to see me graduate high School. My mind was like, but you know she saw you graduate 8th grade, and you wore a cap and gown for 8th grade. Your 8th grade did it pretty fancy. So like you've got nice graduation pictures. And then my mind was like, you know, yeah, she passed at 70, and you only got 15 years with her. But you lived with her. You were closer with your grandma than

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: most people in society are close with their grandparents, and it was just all these different, like previous negative thoughts I had that my mind was like, well, think about it this way, and I was like

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: all I did was breathe for like 40 min. And now these negative feelings that I have had for like

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: 10 years about my grandma's passing, I am looking at differently, and I was blown away. I was like, how is this even possible?

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: I went back a week later because I was like, this is amazing.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: And she was like Amanda. I've never had somebody come 2 weeks in a row. She's like you should get certified. I didn't even know it was a thing I was like certified in what she's like in breath work. I was like.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: Oh, okay.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: did some research on that? Then fast forward? That was January. I spoke to the people about it. They had an upcoming training that June. So I went to Utah in June for a week and got certified in breathwork, and

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: I loved it absolutely loved it.

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Lindsay Ford: Oh, I was just getting like full body tingles as you were describing that shift. That's really, really cool now, I would just love to know like

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Lindsay Ford: what is breathwork. So you said you went. You know you're just breathing, and there are so many different kinds of breathwork. And so I I don't even really know the answer, like, I'm curious to know your response to this like what is breathwork? And how does breathing shift your thoughts like that?

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: So breathwork. I always like to say that it's similar to meditation, but we like to say that it's like meditation on steroids, because you are tapping in to the subconscious. And now it's a full body detox, emotional mental release, and you are releasing any and everything that you have been holding on to whether it's trauma, toxins, pain, grief.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: anything that the body is holding onto, and that you might not have even realized it was holding onto. And you're just able to let it go.

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Lindsay Ford: Okay, so is it like you're being guided through different ways of breathing.

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Lindsay Ford: Is that what's happening in a class?

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Lindsay Ford: Ortho.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: So it's a 3 part conscious, connected breath. So like your mouth is open the whole time you are doing this you got your eyes closed and you breathing into the belly, into the chest, and you're just releasing it. And it's a conscious connected no pause, no rest, no hesitation, and you are just continuously going. And so we call it meditation on steroids, because you've got

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: loud music playing. It's not like this quiet breathing. It's it's intense, like you're putting in work to oxygenate the body.

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Lindsay Ford: Okay? And then emotions come up. I'm guessing there's no like.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: Yeah.

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Lindsay Ford: Emotions just naturally would come up through that process. It's not like, think about this, or like.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: Yeah.

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Lindsay Ford: Okay.

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Lindsay Ford: And then

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Lindsay Ford: add a session. So things are coming up.

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Lindsay Ford: are. They? Are people just encouraged to sit with

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Lindsay Ford: sit with whatever comes up and just keep breathing through it.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: Yeah. So you're laying down during this process, breathing into the belly, into the chest, and they are encouraged to just keep pushing through it. Usually you have a facilitator like I do it virtually. I also do it in person. Usually you have a facilitator encouraging you, guiding you, pushing you through it. But again, we do always say like, if something comes up, you gotta you gotta feel it in order to heal it so like

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: if you've got to cry, cry, let it out like the only sin we say in breathloke is to feel an emotion and push it back down. Because how long have you been pushing them back down? You know some people will laugh during breath work. Some people will cry like

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: I've I've seen it all like you've got people who might scream. You've got people who might talk like, and so many different things come up because the body is just releasing in whatever way

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: it feels it needs to.

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Lindsay Ford: Yeah. And the feeling your feelings is so important. And I just you know one thing I've been learning as I'm like further and further into, I'll say my healing spiritual journey is that oftentimes we don't have to logically think and analyze the emotions that come up, or the the source of those emotions. We just need to feel them as they come up and let them

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Lindsay Ford: like, just go like through our body. Just move through our body. Do you share a similar perspective like, is there is there thoughts that need to happen? I mean, sometimes it is helpful. But like what's your thought on

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Lindsay Ford: just

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Lindsay Ford: passing it through your body, or like letting it just, you know, feeling that wave through your body versus, you know, analyzing intellectually.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: Yeah, I do. I think you do need to just feel it through your body.

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Lindsay Ford: Okay.

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Lindsay Ford: trying to think of a next question.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: No worries.

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Lindsay Ford: okay.

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Lindsay Ford: so you started your healing journey in the fitness area.

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Lindsay Ford: And you did some

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Lindsay Ford: like reiki and plant, medicine and breathwork and obviously your breathwork facilitator. Now, is there

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Lindsay Ford: any similarities between breathwork and plant medicine in your experience? Because I've heard them

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Lindsay Ford: compared? Or, yeah, what's your what's your thoughts on that.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: Yes, there are, because you are tapping into your subconscious mind in both of them. You know I've done. I've done ayahuasca. I've done psilocybin, which is mushrooms, and those are more intense per se. But they definitely have their similarities, and honestly, I even sometimes compare the 2 because you

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: can get a lot of the benefits you can get from plant medicines and breathwork and a lot of people have, whether it's the skepticisms about plant medicines, whether it's religious beliefs, and they don't believe in plant medicines. Whether it's there's a financial investment involved in plant medicines like I paid a decent amount to do. Ayahuasca, you know, which

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: is, if you're into that like fine, but like not, everybody's even able to do it. So like I think breathwork is a really great way to get some of the benefits of plant medicine without having to do plant medicine, because also a lot of them involve hallucinating. Not everybody wants to hallucinate, you know, like not everybody wants to.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: There's a lot of fear involved, even more so in plant medicine, because you are really letting go, you know, and you can't. You can't choose. When you come off that roller coaster breathwork. We encourage you to keep going, but you can stop it at any point, you're in control. You are riding the wave like, you know, I had a guest on my podcast want to talk about like the roller, coaster of ayahuasca, you know, because

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: at at one, at points like you think you're not feeling it anymore, and the wave will just hit you like and you can't. You can't stop it. You can't control it like it could last a couple hours. It could last 10 h, and

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: that that's scary for some people, you know, like they. There's a sense of even even when I went into it like I had nerves with that, because, you.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: you know, it helped me process a lot. But like I felt like I was watching a movie of my life. And at times I wanted to shut the movie off, and I couldn't

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: and

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: not not everybody's ready for that, you know, like, and with breath work like you can still almost watch the movie. But you can shut the movie off.

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Lindsay Ford: Right? So yeah, you're in more control. I love the control piece there because I know for me that like that plant medicine stuff like there is a

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Lindsay Ford: well, it's a lack of control, but also just like you have to really trust the people that are facilitating and around you. So there is a surrendering to the process that needs to happen.

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Lindsay Ford: Now, I'm also resistant to breath work, and I have done some. But like it's it's really funny the things that come up like I'm doing this. This parasite cleanse and fungal detox right now, and there's breath work involved, and I'm so resistant to doing it. So what would you say to someone like me who's just like

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Lindsay Ford: resisting? And I haven't been able to pinpoint it to some degree. But I think it's a lot with just like sitting with my shit that it like forces things to come up which normally like I am pretty open to. I have done so much. It surprises me that that's there. But, like, what would you say to someone like me?

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: That is so normal. That is so. Normal. Resistance is always going to come up like, you know. I think so many people think even like me as like a facilitator. Oh, you never deal with resistance. Oh, there are times like your mind, and like we even talk about like as a facilitator like there's 3 big areas you got to overcome when you're going through breath work. And one of them is your mind like your mind is going to tell you to stop.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: Your mind is going to tell you like even going into it like you could be doing something else like even in the morning when I go to do breathwork like my mind's like, Oh, put this random thing away like you don't need to put that one pen away right now. You like. Your mind is just trying to distract you because the pen is on the kitchen table, and it's just something to stop you from doing your breath work right now, you know, like

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: our minds aren't designed to like. Make us smart, sexy and successful like they're designed to keep us safe, you know. So.

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Lindsay Ford: Safe.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: I. And that's something I always say. So like for this. It's it's gonna come up, and you know, like

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: you don't always want to go to the gym. You don't always want to work out or move your body, you know, like resistance comes up. But like once you're doing it, it's good, you feel better. So it's just like

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: pushing through that that initial resistance and just knowing it's gonna come up.

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Lindsay Ford: Yeah. And I, I appreciate you saying that because.

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Lindsay Ford: yeah, I think you're never just like, yeah, I want to like, see? My, see my shit today, like I don't want to just like

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Lindsay Ford: confront certain things. Or just that. I think maybe even that lack of control. I have no idea what will come up today and like. Today's already a pretty good day, and I kind of want to keep it that way.

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Lindsay Ford: Oh, thank you so much for this conversation, Amanda. Where can people find you.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: You can find me on Instagram. I'm on Instagram at the breathing goddess or instagram at mander's mindset. You can also find the podcast. Wherever you listen to your podcast or on Youtube at Mander's mindset.

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Lindsay Ford: Amazing. Thank you so much for being here. I've enjoyed this conversation.

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Amanda Russo l The Breathing Goddess: Thank you so much for having me.