Episode 51 - Melissa Rohlfs: Binge Eating and Changing Our Relationship with Food

The medical system failed when it came to helping Melissa Rohlfs with PTSD, and as someone who loved cheesey pretzels and Dr. Pepper for lunch, she never imagined FOOD could impact her solution.

Yet, when she started working with a naturopath everything shifted.

In this episode, we chat about binge eating, PTSD, and how eating “normal” foods affected her child’s behaviour.

If you have an emotional relationship with food (I know I do!), then dive into this episode with an open mind and let’s begin to shift your story.

More about Melissa👇

Melissa Rohlfs is a wife, mom, trauma survivor, holistic health and life coach helping teen girls and women.

Connect with Melissa Rohlfs👇

Website: http://www.free2bcoaching.com

Facebook:http://www.facebook.com/MelissaRohlfsCoach

IG:https://www.instagram.com/free2b_coaching/

If you want to break free from the 9 to 5 or spend more time with your family, then check out this FREE webinar that goes over exactly what I'm doing to create time and financial freedom.
https://www.breakingfreewithlindsay.com/learn

If you ever have any questions or want to reach out - I'd love to connect with you. Send me a DM on Facebook (it's the best way to reach me!)

Transcript

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Lindsay Ford: All right. I have Melissa Rolfs with me today, and she is a holistic health and life coach welcome to the podcast Melissa.

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Melissa Rohlfs: Thank you. I'm excited to be here.

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Lindsay Ford: Me, too. I am super curious, because your story is health related, which is a fascinating topic for me. And why don't you just walk us through. How you ended up in this sort of holistic health life, coaching industry. And because I know you

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Lindsay Ford: went through some stuff in your earlier years. Yeah, walk us through that.

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Melissa Rohlfs: Yeah, it wasn't on my radar like I was never going to be that person. In fact, I was thinking the other day, Lindsay, how, when I was a newer mom, I would have friends come over and they're like, Oh, we don't give our kids these things. And I kind of laugh because I was like, oh, food doesn't affect mood and behavior like I kind of brushed off the more like healthy granola people, if you will. So it's it's so funny that I'm here doing this. My dog is barking. Is that okay?

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Lindsay Ford: That's okay. Yeah. All good.

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Melissa Rohlfs: Sorry, so I wanted to be a broadcaster like I went to college, and I was going to be Katie Couric. Be on the news be famous doing that? And obviously that didn't happen. So for me, I remember being a little girl, and like 8 years old, and hiding cookies and candies and sugary snacks in my room, and I think at a young age food kind of became how I coped with overwhelm and stress and anxiety and chaos that I couldn't control. I had no control over anything that was happening. So food at a very young age became a coping mechanism

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Melissa Rohlfs: carried throughout elementary school Middle School high School. I shifted a little bit because, you know, there were boys, and there were dances, and I had to have a date to Prom and all these things, and I thought I was overweight, so I thought if I didn't eat then I would would be healthy, and I would, you know, get the date to prom and all these things. So I went from like overeating, binging to withholding, and then went through high school and to college, and the binging came back because I was stressed and overwhelmed, and

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Melissa Rohlfs: marriage motherhood, and finally it all kind of hit the ground if you will. After our second was born.

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Melissa Rohlfs: He wasn't sleeping, so I was exhausted. Our firstborn had some undiagnosed food allergies and sensory processing disorder. My husband was traveling for for work, and I was just diagnosed with Ptsd from childhood trauma.

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Melissa Rohlfs: So that led me to meet with a naturopath. And I learned about the impact of food on mood and overall health and energy, and how important food is. I had only had the association of food with weight. So this was really eye opening for me, and as a result made a lot of changes in my family and myself, and felt led to go to school and become a holistic health and life coach and help other people who were where I was. So that's the quick version. Ask anything you want.

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Lindsay Ford: I was. Gonna say, that's it! That's it in a nutshell, isn't it? I love that you were not that mom, that crunchy granola mom, and it's so funny because

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Lindsay Ford: I don't know about you. But I've had so many experiences in my life where I'm like.

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Lindsay Ford: That's not a big deal. I swear I would never do that like I would or like. I'm just like there's no way I can count, probably like a dozen things where I was just like, I will never do this. And then I now think anytime I say that it's like this inside joke with myself, because I'm cool like that I'm like, oh, my God! This is what I'm going to do in like a few years. What what made you go? The natural path route rather than the traditional medical route.

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Melissa Rohlfs: Yeah, I love that question. I did try the traditional medical route, and it didn't work. I was put on antidepressants, and they made me feel worse, and I was like, I can't do this. This isn't working for me. I don't like how I feel. So that's what led me down the naturopathic route. I was very anti traditional, just because I had known so many people who didn't have a good experience with that. And I just didn't want that, but I felt like I didn't have another option.

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Melissa Rohlfs: So kind of as a last resort. Tried that didn't work, and I ended up going the path that I felt like I should have all along so.

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Lindsay Ford: Yeah. And I feel like, that's so many people's experience with the traditional medical route is this, it either doesn't help. It makes you feel worse, or they just kind of leave you hanging where it's like.

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Lindsay Ford: you know, you're kind of on your own to almost sort through it. Like if you're not just like fitting this box, which I don't even know if there's a box that exists that people fit from the number of people I talk to have just sort of been like left hanging by the medical.

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Lindsay Ford: Establish. A medical system like it is wild to me, and I am one of those people it feels like every single time I go in there. I'm just like this isn't going to do anything like. There's just this feeling of defeat and heaviness. And like, or there's this ramping up of needing to fight, because when you're when you sort of get into that like

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Lindsay Ford: nontraditional, like more natural healing, then it just it sometimes feels like a battle when you actually go, have to go into the the medical avenue, or like into the medical system.

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Lindsay Ford: When you started

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Lindsay Ford: with the natural path.

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Lindsay Ford: with something like

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Lindsay Ford: Ptsd like depression.

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Lindsay Ford: What do they do? Because oftentimes, I feel like.

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Lindsay Ford: you know, I associate naturopaths with

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Lindsay Ford: food and food sensitivities, and I know they do so much more. But like, what did they do? Because you went there for essentially a quote, unquote psychological reason, and you somehow ended up shifting food and everything. And that helped so like.

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Lindsay Ford: how did that work.

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Melissa Rohlfs: Yeah, no, that's a great question, because we didn't do anything with food. That's what was so fascinating to me, was she? I think the 1st thing to kind of your point like I felt very heard there, like my appointment was like 3 h long. That would not happen in traditional Western medicine. I just never felt heard. It was like, Check the box. Here's your pill, so I think for me. I just felt very seen and heard, and that was really important to me at that point.

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Melissa Rohlfs: But I remember, she said, I have a remedy for trauma, and I'm like that sounds kind of Wackadoo like. I don't know what it is, but it was these pellets I put under my tongue, and so we did that. And then she took all of my vitamin levels. She did mineral testing. She did blood saliva. I had to go to the bathroom in a cup like all of these things to really get a baseline

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Melissa Rohlfs: of where I was, and so based on where my vitamin and minerals were. She then suggested supplements based on that. But what's wild to me is we didn't talk about food. We didn't do food sensitivities at all that came later with our daughter when she did her testing. So this was just supplementation, primarily, that started my journey with the naturopath.

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Lindsay Ford: What were those pellets like? You know what? It's funny that you say that because I just want to add some context to this, because I have had multiple friends go to a homeopathic doctor when their kids were young and suffering from night terrors.

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Lindsay Ford: And just like, take these, take these little pellets. And then the night terrors went away, or I think one of them was just like stressed out. You know, they're toddlers. So just like a lot of screaming, and just like the calm pills. And it's just like this little sugar pellet, homeopathic remedy. I'm sure you know, you know all the critics of homeopathics say, like, it's just a sugar pill, which seems to be the exact opposite of what you would need for sleeping and

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Lindsay Ford: and behavior issues. But like. What are those? I'm curious if you notice any difference with that remedy.

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Melissa Rohlfs: I mean. I felt calm@firstst I was like I kind of went into fight or flight, because I'm like, Oh, my gosh! What is this? The remedy? This sounds weird like, do I believe, with this? But and I kind of freaked myself out, and then once I like took it and like, was like, you know what? I'm just gonna sit back and trust the process. I felt like this calmness kind of come over me. So yeah, it did. It did work.

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Lindsay Ford: That's amazing. So what happened when you started just doing the supplements, and I guess getting your vitamins and minerals sort of more in check. What? What started happening in terms of your

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Lindsay Ford: your Ptsd.

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Melissa Rohlfs: Yeah, I mean, I definitely had better energy. I think my mood was better. I think that I was starting to kind of go back to who I was when I was younger and I was happy, and I had this perk and this pep, and I feel like that kind of came back. It's just so fascinating because, like I was exhausted before then, like my husband would come home from work, and I'd be curled up on the couch in beetle position because I was just exhausted. And so after that I was able to make dinner when he got home, and I was like not crabby about being home with the kids all day, like everything shifted for me because of that.

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Lindsay Ford: Isn't that amazing? Like, just, you know, when you really stop and think about it, it's, you know, all these issues that we're having. You know whether you're you have Ptsd, or just your normal, stressed out, overwhelmed Mom, like

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Lindsay Ford: some of these issues, could just be solved by

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Lindsay Ford: vitamins, minerals, and and better food which we haven't got there, but just like

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Lindsay Ford: that's pretty incredible and amazing that.

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Lindsay Ford: you know, just taking care of our bodies.

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Lindsay Ford: It seems so simple. And yet it's such a missing piece, because, like, we're not taught that in school, we're not taught that by the medical establishment we're not. We're not really taught

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Lindsay Ford: how to care for ourselves

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Lindsay Ford: in any sort of any of the conventional systems.

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Lindsay Ford: So can we just walk back to you know your relationship with food as you know a young girl teenager college with this.

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Lindsay Ford: you know, binging! And and then withholding

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Lindsay Ford: can you look back on that now? And you have an understanding what was going on

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Lindsay Ford: inside of you. Okay, could you share? Yeah.

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Melissa Rohlfs: Yeah, yeah, I was trying to stuff the feelings down because I was so overwhelmed and there was so much going on. I didn't know how to handle it. So I just thought, if I eat I can push it down like I can stuff it. It didn't work, but that's I mean. That's where I think my mindset was like, I just need to get rid of this. And that seemed like the most effective way.

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Lindsay Ford: Yeah. And it's it's interesting when you like, start to notice these patterns in yourself. And then, even like, when I think back to when my kids were babies and toddlers where it's like, you know, they're upset, or a little rambunctious in like the grocery store like have a snack. Have a snack. And there's just like this calming

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Lindsay Ford: so calming down association, or like this, shut up association with that we, you know, create as parents in some ways, and I know, even like my son. My son's always like I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm like you're you're just bored, Buddy, like you just don't know what to do with yourself, but it's just like the Food Association

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Lindsay Ford: starts really young. And even if I think about

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Lindsay Ford: and I'm not even thinking about me, but I remember a coworker of mine always. She wanted to give my kids candy every time they came into the office, and she's like, Oh, it's a treat. It's a treat like I just. And and then, when I'm like, I'm not buying them the Easter candy, I'm not buying this, and then she'd try to make me feel bad like. Don't you feel guilty? And and there's just like the like. Food is so so much a part of our culture in really messed up ways

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Lindsay Ford: cause it should not be a treat to essentially like poison. Our kids, bodies.

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Melissa Rohlfs: Yeah, but think about it. What do they do at parades? They throw out the poison to the children. I mean, right? Like, it's legal. It's socially acceptable, and we need it. I think that's what makes it tricky. It's not like other things that people are addicted to. We don't need those things. But we do need food, and I think that's where the confusion and the justification comes in like, oh, I needed this.

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Lindsay Ford: Yeah. And even when I think about like my kids, my daughter in school, she's in grade 5. She's 10 right now. She, her teacher. Okay, I don't know where this rule comes from, but it's an association with food. If she manages not to lose her pencil each week by Friday, her teacher gives her candy.

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Lindsay Ford: I'm like, how is this a thing? And there's just like all these, like little rewards built in with these foods, and they're not.

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Lindsay Ford: They're not nourishing foods. Okay.

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Lindsay Ford: I'm gonna ask you a really bull big question, what do we do? What do we do about this? Where do we start with it?

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Melissa Rohlfs: Yeah, I mean, I think us having the conversation and people becoming aware of it is the 1st step, because I didn't think anything about this, I mean, I potty trained my kids with the M. And M's. Like, Oh, you want Potty. Here's a candy here, I mean I very much. That's how I grew up. That's what I did. And I don't think it was until I became aware of it. It was like, Oh.

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Melissa Rohlfs: yeah, I do do that, and then you start to rethink like even to this day, I'm like, Oh, we have a fall break. We should go have a treat, and I'm like, why, like, where? Where does that mentality come from? So I think it's just being aware, and even like being curious towards it and trying to figure out, okay, what can we do instead?

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Melissa Rohlfs: I think that's what we do.

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Lindsay Ford: Yeah, so okay, there's a couple of directions. I wanna go my mind.

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Melissa Rohlfs: Just like.

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Lindsay Ford: the back to like the stuffing downs. Feelings.

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Lindsay Ford: Piece of it.

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Lindsay Ford: Yeah.

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Lindsay Ford: And maybe now that, like.

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Lindsay Ford: you're a mom, you have all this knowledge about health. What is a better way to cope? And I know still, even with

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Lindsay Ford: all of the education I have around food, I still grab chocolate on hard days, and I feel like that's just like a pattern. I'm starting to shift even the last couple months. But like.

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Lindsay Ford: how do we break those associations?

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Melissa Rohlfs: Yeah, I mean again, I think the 1st thing is awareness that it's even there, like for me. When we would go on family vacations we would load up with the red vine licorice, and we would load up with the candy. And so even to this day, I'm like, Okay, we're going to go on a trip. But let's grab some healthy snacks. So it's I think it's it's a being aware, and then making small shifts in that. And being prepared, I think, is another thing, because when you're

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Melissa Rohlfs: hungry and you're tired, it's easy to grab for the chocolate or the ice cream, or whatever is there because it's easy. But I think if we, you know, give ourselves space and permission to do a little bit of prep and have a little bit of things on hand that maybe we can grab instead. I think that's powerful. But I think, too, for the

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Melissa Rohlfs: like stepping of the feelings. It's being aware of your feelings, and giving yourself permission to feel them and articulate them, and having a safe space to do that, and that could even be journaling. If you don't have anybody you can talk to. I think some people just put their feelings out on social media. And that's okay. In this day and age. I think it's a little more combative. So I think, just make sure you have a safe space to share what's going on in here and get it out rather than trying to push it down.

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Lindsay Ford: Yeah. And it really becomes that idea that no feelings are wrong or bad to have, which I think so many of us were raised with like

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Lindsay Ford: I. You know, I feel like my parents were okay with sadness, but definitely not anger, and that there's so many of us, I mean, anger is just a normal part of our, you know, human experience. And

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Lindsay Ford: yeah, understanding that all emotions

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Lindsay Ford: are valid. And there's nothing wrong with you. If you have those those emotions, and even the cruel thoughts that that creep into our brain sometimes.

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Lindsay Ford: When you started? So you started the supplementation. And then do you remember some of the 1st like dietary shifts that started to happen, or that really like took root inside your mind of like, oh, this is, this is really useful to know or like. Oh, that like what were those

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Lindsay Ford: Aha moments, or what were those shifts that were taking place with respect to the actual diet.

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Melissa Rohlfs: Yeah. So I had a friend who was transitioning to like

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Melissa Rohlfs: whole foods. And I can't remember it was like 100 days of real food. Maybe. There was some like person on social that she was following like that seems like a great idea. So I found, like the local co-OP I found, like

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Melissa Rohlfs: all these places, I ordered a huge big bag of wheat made this amazing. What I thought was healthy. Peach cobbler. My child acted like she was like crazy after eating it, because she was intolerant to gluten. We later discovered, but I think the 1st step was doing whole foods and transitioning away from, processed into more whole foods. And then, once we figured out the intolerance piece getting rid of those foods that were causing us issues. So

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Melissa Rohlfs: that was, that was the main thing.

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Lindsay Ford: So how did you then start to recognize?

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Lindsay Ford: You know those

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Lindsay Ford: intolerances? Because, you know, you often think food intolerances like sore tummy. Maybe a headache, maybe skin reaction. You don't necessarily think like

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Lindsay Ford: hyperactivity or the emotional piece of it.

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Lindsay Ford: So maybe there were other signs. But, like, what is the

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Lindsay Ford: how did how did that start to? How'd you start to recognize food intolerances in your kid.

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Melissa Rohlfs: Yeah. So our daughter was vomiting every night like, that's the point that we got to. And it's so interesting, because, looking back like even when she was an infant she had an issue with Dairy, and I nursed, and so I cut out dairy. So then, you know, at that year mark all of a sudden. It's safe to introduce it, and we just kept her eating it, not thinking that that could be part of the problem. So we did try the traditional route. We went to the doctor. They did the scope, the Gi scope for celiac that came back negative.

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Melissa Rohlfs: That doctor told me that food allergies are not a thing that the doctors whose book I read made it up.

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Melissa Rohlfs: So then I'm like, no, you are incorrect. There's something that's causing this to happen in, my child. We're going to figure it out. So we went to an allergy clinic, and they tested her and discovered that it was gluten and dairy that she was intolerant to, but it was her behavior, it was the vomiting. It was those 2 main things.

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Lindsay Ford: So it was the allergy clinic part of like the medical system? Or was that a separate? Okay, so what kind? What did they do to test?

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Lindsay Ford: Yeah, this one is really testing.

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Melissa Rohlfs: Again. It was a place where I felt very hurt and seen. We had all this extensive paperwork to fill out with diet lifestyle. They did blood tests. They did the skin prick. And then for our daughter, because there were some things I was like, I think, when she has these things she acts a little different. They did simulation testing, which is where they put the Allergen drops of the Allergen under their tongue, and they time how they behave in like a certain window, and how it affects them.

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Melissa Rohlfs: So we did this and the drop, and then the skin test.

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Melissa Rohlfs: I didn't even.

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Lindsay Ford: That drop test existed. That's pretty incredible, did they?

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Melissa Rohlfs: And that's.

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Lindsay Ford: Based.

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Melissa Rohlfs: Sorry to drop.

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Lindsay Ford: Did they see things based on the drop test.

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Melissa Rohlfs: Yes, that's what clued us in. It was like, Oh, yeah, she does have an issue with this.

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Lindsay Ford: Wow!

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Melissa Rohlfs: No.

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Lindsay Ford: That's crazy.

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Lindsay Ford: I'm just like blown away right now that they can actually like where they actually will time that out and

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Lindsay Ford: track behavior changes.

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Lindsay Ford: like my mind is blown right now.

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Lindsay Ford: Oh.

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Lindsay Ford: okay. So you're so you're making all these shifts you're shifting to whole food. Was it easy to shift to whole food for you.

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Melissa Rohlfs: No, because I grew up on all the processed stuff, and that was all I knew. Like I. At this point I was like taking my supplements from the naturopath, but I was eating a huge pretzel with cheese and a diet Dr. Pepper for lunch like that's where I was at. So it was really like changing my taste buds and my palate, and finding things that I liked that were healthy. That didn't make me feel too healthy.

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Lindsay Ford: Okay, so how did you go in terms of

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Lindsay Ford: you know, going from that pretzel and Dr. Pepper for lunch? I know you're already starting on this like health journey with the supplements

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Lindsay Ford: you're you got this idea for the whole foods. Where? What was that? You know? What inspired you to do that. I know you said you had a friend that was doing it, but like, what

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Lindsay Ford: made you say? Yes, that is, that is something I want to try.

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Melissa Rohlfs: I think I was starting to read about how food was affecting things, and how there were lots of things added to our food that made it not really food, and how just the food industry had changed, that it convicted me. And I'm like, you know, I don't know that I want to keep doing this.

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Lindsay Ford: Okay.

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Lindsay Ford: so

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Lindsay Ford: and then, how okay? So how did you jump from?

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Lindsay Ford: You know it being hard like it, it's hard to make something.

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Lindsay Ford: as

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Lindsay Ford: you know, we're shifting not only the way we

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Lindsay Ford: cook

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Lindsay Ford: and eat, but it is because it's so culturally ingrained to.

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Lindsay Ford: you know. Grab a pretzel or grab something convenient.

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Lindsay Ford: can you? Just maybe I don't know if there, I don't know if you can answer this. But like walk me through that like a mental emotional process of

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Lindsay Ford: what it was like to shift from more processed foods to more whole foods and continue it.

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Melissa Rohlfs: Yeah, I mean, I think I started to feel better. That was the main thing, like I think I would. I wasn't taking away like I would

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Melissa Rohlfs: like with the pretzel and cheese I'd be like. Maybe I should add some protein to this, so I would add in some protein, so I'm still having what I like, but then I would add to it, and then eventually I took the pretzel away. I kept the diet pepper, so it was kind of like, not just all at once stripping away. I think that would have been way too hard and overwhelming. So it was like, this is what I have. This is my end goal. Let me add to it, and take away as needed. But I also found other ways to like.

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Melissa Rohlfs: reward myself and treat myself and have things I enjoyed that were beneficial to me instead of detrimental. I think that's a big thing. Is that you? If you create a void. You need to fill that gap with something. So it was like, what do I create the gap? And what am I going to fill it with?

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Lindsay Ford: So how old were your kids when you started transitioning to whole foods?

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Melissa Rohlfs: Our daughter was about 3, and our son was probably one.

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Lindsay Ford: Okay. So still quite young, and not necessarily like they were in some sort of habits, but not

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Lindsay Ford: not like the school lunches where they're like.

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Lindsay Ford: I don't know. It seems to be like a competition for the most processed food in school lunches these days. I don't even know. Okay, so then, how do you jump from from that into what you do now in terms of the holistic health

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Lindsay Ford: coaching.

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Melissa Rohlfs: Well, I think for me it was like, it's so funny, because when I 1st started my coaching, it was like, I'm going to help other people eat better and feel good. But as I went through my training it was like, Wait!

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Melissa Rohlfs: I was an emotional eater. Oh, my gosh! I didn't even know that I did that. And so I think it was like my awareness increased. And then it was, Oh, my gosh! I need to help other women with their relationship with food, because that's affecting their energy. That's affecting how they show up. That's affecting how they feel. That's affecting their weight like it's affecting all these things. And so it was really like my own journey of discovering. Oh, this was me! This was what I did, but I didn't know that's what I was doing. I didn't have a word or a term for it.

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Melissa Rohlfs: so I think that led me to where I am now, because I just learned so much, and what I went in for thinking I would do on the end is not what I've done at all.

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Lindsay Ford: Yeah, it's amazing how you know when you start to

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Lindsay Ford: change your food.

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Lindsay Ford: and commit

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Lindsay Ford: to getting healthier.

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Lindsay Ford: you start to really notice that emotional piece

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Lindsay Ford: come up.

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Lindsay Ford: You know I watched my mom yo-yo diet my whole life. I swore I would never do a diet.

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Lindsay Ford: Because I just I'm like that doesn't make any sense to me. It's just, you know, as soon as she stops the diet the weight comes back, and it's just this constant up and down battle.

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Lindsay Ford: And then I developed this belief of

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Lindsay Ford: almost

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Lindsay Ford: almost refusing to eat healthy consistently, or like, really take care of myself consistently because I was like, I don't want to be on a diet. I don't want to be restricted, and it wasn't really until I sort of shifted the conversation in my head about

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Lindsay Ford: You know this idea of being free to eat whatever you want.

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Lindsay Ford: That piece resonated. The freedom piece really resonates with me. And then someone said, Are you free to say no, and I was like, Oh, no! There are certain foods that have a lot of power over me, and I was like, Oh, you know what in some cases I don't feel free to say no like. If someone comes and offers me a cookie. I feel obligated to take it. There are times when you know

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Lindsay Ford: mid afternoon I'm grabbing for chocolate. I'm like, I know this is making me sick right now, and yet I'm still eating more, and there's

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Lindsay Ford: it hasn't been. I've just finished a detox a 6 week detox, and it's only been in the last 6 weeks that I've really understood the relationship between

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Lindsay Ford: my self-worth

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Lindsay Ford: and

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Lindsay Ford: food and the emotional eating aspect, and something in me has completely shifted

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Lindsay Ford: about like. You know what this is. I am worthy of taking care of myself. I am worthy of putting good food in my body. I am worthy to prioritize my needs over the feelings of other people. And it's been this.

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Lindsay Ford: it's been such a shift. And I am someone who's done a lot of inner work a lot of nutritional stuff over the years. And it's just like, you know, the inner battle is so strong, especially when it comes to food. And you're absolutely right, like we can say No to some foods, but still, generally we're eating

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Lindsay Ford: and

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Lindsay Ford: like we cannot just completely eliminate food.

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Lindsay Ford: I'm curious to know you. You work with teen girls.

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Lindsay Ford: Why, specifically teen girls, I mean, I know you work with women as well, but like the teen girl piece, I'm really curious. I have a daughter who's 10, and sort of entering their puberty stage way earlier than I wanted, that I thought I was preventing by taking care of all our food. And no, no, it's still happening early.

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Lindsay Ford: Talk to me about your work with teen girls.

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Melissa Rohlfs: Well again. It was not on my radar, right? Like they just came to me. So I'm kind of like, okay, maybe I need to do this I had my 1st teenage client. It was a woman that I knew from one of the cities we had lived in, and she was like I think my niece could could use your help. Do you work with teens? And I'm like, no, I haven't. But I'm willing to try. And so we? We started coaching, and it was amazing. I she is like one of my favorites to this day. She really struggled with binging, did therapy did a lot of work

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Melissa Rohlfs: around that, and didn't find freedom from that struggle. But when we were coaching and working together she's now bench free. So then there was another mom that came to me, and she's like my daughter's struggling, and I don't know how to do this. Can you help her? And I'm like, well, sure, and there were just kind of a few that trickled in. And I think what's crazy is originally, Lindsay. I started working with moms because I thought, well, if I work with moms they can change their family's health trajectory. And this can be this ripple effect. But I was kind of finding the opposite like the mom was doing something for herself and then doing something for the family. And I'm like.

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Melissa Rohlfs: I don't know, but it seems like the teen girls have more of an impact on moms and kind of reveal some things to their moms like, Oh, I might have learned this from you, or maybe this is where this came from. And so it's almost like a more impactful start with the teens because they impact their parents.

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Lindsay Ford: So are they primarily coming to you for things like, binging.

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Lindsay Ford: yeah, okay.

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Lindsay Ford: I love what you just shared about.

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Lindsay Ford: You know

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Lindsay Ford: the teen girls

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Lindsay Ford: what they're learning, and then able to reflect back

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Lindsay Ford: at their mothers or on their mothers, or to their mothers. Of like these, like the patterns like it's like they're starting to notice the patterns that are being passed down. You know these patterns that we're not even aware of, and I've had many conversations with my mom over this last year about

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Lindsay Ford: patterns like this related to food.

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Lindsay Ford: it's so to me, the patterns. The psychological piece of this is so so fascinating.

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Lindsay Ford: I just lost my train of thought.

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Lindsay Ford: I wanted to go back to something you had said.

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Lindsay Ford: Teen girls.

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Lindsay Ford: what we were just talking about. You're talking about the teen girls.

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Melissa Rohlfs: And.

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Lindsay Ford: Binging

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Lindsay Ford: related patterns related to their mom.

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Melissa Rohlfs: You were talking with your mom.

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Lindsay Ford: Okay.

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Lindsay Ford: okay.

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Lindsay Ford: One of the things you had said was,

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Lindsay Ford: you know, you had expected like, when you started working with moms to that, that to trickle down. And

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Lindsay Ford: one of the fascinating things for me as a mother is, you know, I was willing to do all of the work all the supplements, the nutrition stuff for my kids.

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Lindsay Ford: and then they would go to bed or outside, and I'd be like shoveling chocolate in my face, or like having Chips. And you know, I know there's commercials about this. I know I'm not the only one, but it was wild to me. The other thing I noticed I remember like, so my son really struggles with gluten and dairy, and I remember

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Lindsay Ford: from a young I think he was like 5 or something at the time 4 or 5, and I was giving him something with gluten and dairy in it

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Lindsay Ford: because I was rushed. It was, you know, a convenience thing. And he was like, why are you feeding me food that's going to make me sick? And I was like, why are you not the parent right now. It was just like, you know, this little child was just like reflecting this back to me of like, you know, because it wasn't an allergy, because it wasn't like he was going to be vomiting or sick like. It was just like a little bit of an intolerance that made him like a little bit congested

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Lindsay Ford: of the time. If he ate too much of the wrong thing, and it was just like, you know, these, I'll say excuses in my head that come up of just like, oh, it's just a little bit. It's okay this one time, you know, it's a treat. It's a birthday party. It's a whatever. And our kids can be really powerful

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Lindsay Ford: reflectors

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Lindsay Ford: of what we are doing. And then, yeah, I think you're right with them, like the moms were so willing to do so much for our kids

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Lindsay Ford: and

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Lindsay Ford: not the same

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Lindsay Ford: for ourselves.

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Lindsay Ford: So you also work with

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Lindsay Ford: moms. You work with teens.

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Lindsay Ford: do you have like a favorite to work with, or like a favorite type of person to work with in terms of like what they're trying to change or the mindset. They're coming in with.

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Lindsay Ford: who's your sort of ideal

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Lindsay Ford: clients? And why are they fun to work with.

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Melissa Rohlfs: Yeah, it's so funny, because I work with so many different ages like I've had grandmas. I've had teens, and I think

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Melissa Rohlfs: it's not an age so much, but it's a willingness and an openness to change, and to be willing to do the work like. They know that they have tried the quick fixes. They've tried these other things, and they haven't gotten the results. And so they really want to dig in and figure out, okay, how do I fix this? How do I change this? Not fix because that implies it's broken. But how do I change my relationship with food in my body like, how, what do I need to do? Because what I've been doing isn't working.

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Lindsay Ford: Yeah. And I imagine if they're coming to a coach, they're paying money, they're invested in

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Lindsay Ford: creating change.

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Lindsay Ford: which is powerful, because, you know in when you get into the medical system, or even to some natural paths where they're covered by benefits. And you're just sort of like.

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Lindsay Ford: It's not that there's no skin in the game. But there's like, you know, it's different. You're you're sort of like a you go, you say, fix me versus coaching is much more of a like here, like we're gonna like, you're gonna like you as a coach will be empowering me to fix myself. You know, we quote unquote, fix or heal myself, or whatever it is doing. But it is. It's a different

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Lindsay Ford: it's a different dynamic, isn't it?

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Melissa Rohlfs: Absolutely.

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Lindsay Ford: Okay.

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Lindsay Ford: So people come to you. Is it primarily related to binging

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Lindsay Ford: or.

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Melissa Rohlfs: I would say, binging and stress, eating.

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Lindsay Ford: Okay.

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Lindsay Ford: what are the things that people tend to grab for when they're stressed.

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Melissa Rohlfs: It's either sugar or salt.

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Lindsay Ford: Ourselves and like, why, why is that like? Why are we not grabbing for the carrots or the, you know leftovers

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Lindsay Ford: protein? Why are we not going going for the hard boiled eggs? Why, why is it sugar and salt.

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Melissa Rohlfs: Well, because I think it releases dopamine right? And like as we release dopamine in the brain, we need more and more to get that same feel good feeling. So I feel like it's it's we're looking for that quick hit fix. We're looking for the dopamine release.

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Lindsay Ford: Okay. So

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Lindsay Ford: you know, generally speaking, how do we shift from grabbing that salty or sugary snack.

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Melissa Rohlfs: And.

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Lindsay Ford: To.

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Lindsay Ford: I'll say, not grabbing anything or grabbing a replacement like, how how does that shift start to happen?

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Melissa Rohlfs: I think it's becoming aware of it right? Like I think it's becoming aware of. When are you grabbing for that? Are you physically hungry, or are you looking for something? So I think getting curious around that is really powerful. I think, too, we could just be dehydrated. So maybe drink some water and wait for 5 min and see if you're you're still having the craving, because the sugar craving can mimic dehydration

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Melissa Rohlfs: but I think to have some some upgrades like, if you like. Salt maybe go for almonds or peanuts, or a healthified upgrade to give you that salty fix, but without all of the additives and the chemicals, and all the stuff that really isn't food in our food.

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Lindsay Ford: I love that you mentioned hydration, because that's a big one. I feel like so many of us are dehydrated or under hydrated

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Lindsay Ford: like. I do notice that that association. So what do you? What do you talk about? So if I was just like, Yeah, I know I wasn't hungry. I know I'm just grabbing it, but then I'm like stuffing my face. I'm like, now I feel nauseous like, how do you?

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Lindsay Ford: this has actually happened to me many times.

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Lindsay Ford: That's a real life example.

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Lindsay Ford: you know

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Lindsay Ford: what needs to shift in me

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Lindsay Ford: to

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Lindsay Ford: start to shift my other behavior, because sometimes I'm like the 5 year old where I'm just like I just don't fucking care like. Just give me the chocolate.

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Melissa Rohlfs: Yeah, I think we have to change our habits and beliefs. And so 1 1 of my sessions in my 12 week program is all about being bad because we do have that way. We have this inner rebellion that we need to satisfy. So how do we satisfy that without grabbing for food, because a lot of us we want to be naughty, and so we'll grab the ice cream and be like, oh, I'm being naughty, but I'm not hurting anybody. Well, you're hurting yourself, so let's find some ways to be naughty without hurting yourself or anybody else in the process.

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Lindsay Ford: I love that you just said

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Lindsay Ford: you're not hurting anybody, but you're actually hurting yourself, and

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Lindsay Ford: I don't think we realize how often

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Lindsay Ford: we do that to ourselves where we

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Lindsay Ford: harm ourselves, to try to soothe ourselves or

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Lindsay Ford: or we just you know, we would never

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Lindsay Ford: intentionally harm other people, but we seem to be willing to take, you know, even with our own thoughts, like very like, much more. We're much more destructive towards ourselves than we are to other people.

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Lindsay Ford: All right. We are going to wrap up. Where can people find you if they want to connect with you?

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Melissa Rohlfs: Yeah, my website is free. The number to the letter B coaching.com so free to be coaching.com. There's my socials and everything is there. That's the home.

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Lindsay Ford: Amazing, amazing thanks. So much for this conversation today, Melissa.

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Melissa Rohlfs: Thank you. I think we could do this for days.

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Lindsay Ford: Absolutely.