Episode 58 - Shift Out of Overwhelm in 3 Easy Steps

If you get overwhelmed easily, listen up.

It doesn’t have to be this way.

This is simply a stress pattern. One that, once you recognize, you can let go of.

So how can you let this go?

--- > Dive into Episode 58 to find out!

I hope this helps.

I can tell you from where I’m sitting now, life is way easier when you feel relaxed and you trust yourself completely.

And I truly hope you get there.

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Transcript

If you get overwhelmed easily, listen up.

It doesn’t have to be this way.

This is simply a stress pattern. One that, once you recognize, you can let go of.

For years, any changes of plans would send me into overwhelm. I would spiral. My brain would catastrophize the smallest of issues, then once blown out of proportion a million what-if scenarios, plan B’s, and contingency plans would flood my mind. Overwhelming me.

I didn’t understand this pattern for years, perhaps even decades.

And it didn’t help that I was married to someone who’s work scheduled changed on a dime.

I came to resent is work, feeling like I was constantly left scrambling to pick up the pieces, and I blamed him for my overwhelm. If only he didn’t prioritize work over me? Didn’t he realize how disrespectful this was to me and my schedule?

And… because I have a female brain, it would ultimately translate into “he doesn’t love me… if he loved me, he wouldn’t treat me this way.” But to him, it was simply a change of schedule. No big deal. → But we’ll save this conversation about the male/female brain for another day.

Right now we’re talking about overwhelm.

I met up with a friend the other day at a cafe and this overwhelm subject came up.

She was working with someone who teaches a class online and he was starting the next round. On the day of the first class, his internet wasn’t working. Which then sent him in a massive spiral - he’d have to cancel the class, and probably the whole session, and refund everyone their money.

And she was like, let’s just go to a cafe. Or you can try my laptop. This isn’t a big deal… yeah it’s annoying but maybe just delay the class by an hour? People would understand.

As we were chatting, she told me of a mutual friend’s experience with PTSD and was sharing this is sometimes what happens to the brain.

This state of overwhelm is a defence mechanism designed to keep you safe, to be aware of every possible danger and what-if scenario.

Now for me, I don’t know about the PTSD part, but I definitely had begun to see my patterns of overwhelm as a defence mechanism over the years.

And that’s all this is.

But changes are, this pattern served you at one point in your life, but it’s likely no longer serving you today.

So how can you let this go?

Before I get to that, I want to share what happened next in the conversation with my friend because it was fascinating to me… because it took me a few moments to remember that I had this pattern only a few short years ago.

And I’m sharing this because when you make massive shifts in your thinking, sometimes you forget what it used to be like. And isn’t that incredible?

Overwhelm can be your pattern for decades and then you can actually get to a point where the very idea of overwhelm feels like an almost foreign concept.

As we sat there chatting about these overwhelm patterns, I shared about my drive to the cafe that morning.

I was almost out of gas in my motorbike and I wasn’t sure if I would even have enough to get to a gas station.

Now, for context, we’re in Bali and they have large gas stations like we have in North America, but they also have these little pumps at (let’s call them) convenient stores. So it’s possible to find gas or petrol fairly easily.

But I was aiming for the gas station, because it’s cheaper and I kind of wanted to push my motorbike a bit because the gas gage fluctuates between 1 and 3 of those little notches and I never know how empty I really am.

So I left our house that morning, drove the 15-20mins to school, and then had about that distance again to the closest gas station.

Now, had I been in that pattern of overwhelm that I used to be in many years ago, I would have stopped at one of those little pumps at the convenient stores.

But my mindset is now one where I absolutely know, without a shadow of doubt, that I can deal with any situation thrown my way.

So in this case, worst case scenario was that I ran out of gas, and I would figure it out if that were to happen.

Not my plan.

But not a catastrophe either.

I might have to walk a bit. Maybe someone would help me. I’d likely be late meeting my friend. But I would find gas.

The end result would be the same.

And I’m sharing this story with you because I really want you to see the contrast → from spiralling in overwhelm, catastrophizing the situation to trusting yourself completely, knowing you’re fully capable of figuring it out.

What if it didn’t matter what was coming, you know you could handle it?

Let’s talk about how to shift from overwhelm to trust.

The first is recognizing the pattern.

When it happens, you don’t need to do anything initially. Simply spend a moment to observe.

At first, you might not be able to see it while you’re in it and that’s ok. You can look back after the fact and lovingly acknowledge this beautiful pattern that at one point served you.

Second, simply be in the pattern while observing it at the same time. Feel it all while knowing that these feelings, this pattern, this feeling of overwhelm is not you. It’s simply a script you’ve been running.

I was in a state of overwhelm right before we packed up from Bali the last time I was here. I felt like there was so much packing to do, yet I’d already completed everything I could. The remaining items were things we were still using and needed up until the day we left. Yet my mind was spiralling with all of the to-do’s on my list and I couldn’t relax.

That’s when I noticed what was happening and said “I see you old friend.” and started laughing, amused that this pattern had appeared.

I could see it. And simply by noticing it, it went away. It just wanted to be acknowledged.

The third part of shifting is stepping fully into trust.

And this is really about building a muscle, so repetition is helpful.

Notice every time when something didn’t go as planned where you figure it out. *Hint - there hasn’t been a scenario you’ve gone through in this lifetime that you haven’t been able to figure it out.

Think about that.

You’ve literally made it through every single curveball, catastrophe, or upheaval life has thrown your way.

This is important because you have TONS of evidence that you can trust yourself to get through “it” (whatever “it” is).

When you’re in this state of trust, you can relax. You can relax in any scenario.

And you can waste less time and energy spiralling in your imagination, making up scenarios to be worried about – scenarios that probably aren’t going to happen.

And you can simply relax. And trust. And move through life with more ease.

So let’s recap… Overwhelm is a pattern you’ve developed that you can absolutely shift out of.

Notice your pattern when you’re in it, or just after.
Feel it all while knowing that it’s not you. If it helps, be amused by it.
Lovingly acknowledge it.
And look for the evidence in your life that shows you that you can absolutely trust yourself and figure out how to get through any scenario thrown your way.

I hope this helps.

I can tell you from where I’m sitting now, life is way easier when you feel relaxed and you trust yourself completely.

And I truly hope you get there.