Episode 69 - Manifest the Co-Parenting Relationship of Your Dreams in 5 Simple Steps

If you believe in manifestation and the law of attraction, you know that you are ALWAYS creating your reality — whether that’s the money in your bank account, the people you’re attracting into your life, or the life lessons you’re ready to learn — you are always co-creating your reality.

You’re co-creating this reality with LIFE. With the Universe. With God. With your Higher Self.

You are being divinely guided. Your prayers are being answered. You are manifesting your reality each and every day. 

So let’s use this to our advantage in our co-parenting relationships.

This episode goes over exactly how to apply the law of attraction to your co-parenting relationship.

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Transcript

If you believe in manifestation and the law of attraction, you know that you are ALWAYS creating your reality — whether that’s the money in your bank account, the people you’re attracting into your life, or the life lessons you’re ready to learn — you are always co-creating your reality.

You’re co-creating this reality with LIFE. With the Universe. With God. With your Higher Self.

You are being divinely guided. Your prayers are being answered. You are manifesting your reality each and every day. 

So let’s use this to our advantage in our co-parenting relationships.

If you believe that you a creating your reality, and co-parenting is part of your experience, then it stands to reason that you can manifest something different for yourself. Right?

So often, we feel helpless in our co-parenting relationships, like we’re at the whim of our ex’s demands, reactions, and random texts. But we’re not helpless— We are NEVER helpless. 

We need to get out of this victim mentality and get back into the drivers seat. 

So let’s adopt the belief that we can manifest our reality AND the relationships we have. Let’s try that hat on right now and explore how this could unfold differently.

When it comes to relationships and manifestation, we can’t manifest anything for anyone else and we can’t control another person. 

However, what we CAN do is align ourselves to a different vibration, a different frequency that repels what we don’t want and attracts what we do want. 

And when we can shift our frequency, the things that we don’t want will fade into the background — either they will stop happening OR they’ll still happen and we won’t even notice anymore. It’s like they become background noise, no longer triggering us or sending us into a downward spiral of second-guessing ourselves and what we could have done better. 

When we tune ourselves - our body, our instrument - like when we turn the dial and tune into a different radio station, we literally cannot hear the previous station, we can only hear the new one. 

Similarly, our ex won’t have the same affect on us. He will be forced to shift what he’s doing. He will start showing up differently. Or you will continue on your merry way, completely oblivious to any unrest between the two of you and you’ll be in co-parenting bliss no matter what he does. Any one of those scenarios is a better version than where you’re likely at right now, isn’t it?

The co-parenting relationship you have right now and what it will ultimately end up being is being co-created by you, your ex, AND each of your children. 

Yes, you are co-creating together. Including your kids. And this I want to stress because we often feel guilty about what we’re doing to our child and what they’re experiencing. This is natural reaction because we are instinctively wired to protect our kids and keep them safe. So if there’s something about this divorce or co-parenting situation that feels unsafe (whether perceived or real) we’ll naturally want to do everything in our power to protect our kids by changing the situation. And if we can’t change it immediately, or they continue to experience some form of pain that we can’t prevent, then we feel like we’re failing them. We feel guilty. Helpless. Our kids are suffering and it’s our fault — or it’s their dad’s fault and we’re helpless to stop it. 

But I want you to shift this mentality… and it’s tricky to shift out of this. I get it. It’s your child.

But I want you to open yourself up to the possibility that your child is co-creating this experience with you and your ex. 

Your child is not a helpless victim.

If you believe in the power of manifestation and that anyone can create their reality, then by extension, this means kids too.

Your kids are going through this — this scenario you’re in right now (whatever that may be) — because they’re co-creating this experience with you. 

And you might be thinking: Why? Why would they create this experience? Why would they want this?

And I’ll flip this back on you and ask you: Why have YOU created this experience? Why have you wanted this?

At this point you might have the urge to launch into a lengthy explanation of how you and your ex got here, or that you’ve wanted out and it’s really his fault… but I want you to put this story aside for now and consider this situation from a SOUL perspective. 

Your child’s soul signed up for this. They chose you as their mother. They chose their dad as their father. They came into this life knowing their family would not be together forever. All three of you, at a soul level, chose this game to play.

When souls choose to go through hard things, they do so for one reason — from their vantage point (as a soul), they think (we think) the hard stuff will be fun to work through. Because from a soul perspective, the hard stuff doesn’t matter. It’s a human experience. Our souls get to come down to this earth to experience the contrast, to experience ALL of the emotions, so we can grow. So we can add these to our soul’s library of experiences and grow and expand. 

The bad stuff isn’t bad from our soul’s perspective. It’s simply an experience that will be fun — and it will be fun for us because we know (at a soul level) our experiences do not define us. They can’t hurt us. Our soul’s can’t hurt. Everything from our soul’s perspective is for growth, expansion, and joy. 

Imagine how much fun these experiences of divorce and co-parenting would be if we could be IN it and realize that we are NOT it. We are not defined by it. We are sovereign beings and no matter what is happening around us, we understand that we do not have to be consumed by it. It is not ours to take on or adopt. We are free to live a great life regardless of what’s happening around us.

Including divorce. Including a not-so-great co-parenting relationship.

Oh what fun it will be to experience all of is while simultaneously knowing it’s all silly and irrelevant to our existence!

This is the game our souls signed up for. 

When we understand this - truly understand this as we’re living in out in the human experience we’re in - we grow. We expand. We set ourselves free. And that’s what our soul’s work is. To understand our freedom and power. 

To break free from what everyone is telling us that divorce has to mean and step into the powerful role of creator - because we can create our own reality. We have that power and our souls are yearning for us to remember.

So let’s break it down — let’s talk about HOW we manifest because it is really quite simple in theory. A little bit trickier in practice perhaps, but still the same principles. And if you can manifest easily in one area of your life, you can manifest easily in other areas. 

1. It starts with a burning desire — What do you want? 

We’re often SOOOO afraid to go there in our imaginations, so afraid to dream in the land of possibility because we keep looking around at the evidence in our current reality that our dreams are not possible. 

But our reality is simply a manifestation of our current set point. It’s not evidence of what we CAN create if we move in a different direction, if we tune into a different radio station. 

So my question to you about your current co-parenting situation is: Are you done with it yet? Do you want something different?

What do you want?

It starts with a desire for something new.

2. Believe that it’s possible and that it’s coming — it’s not a matter of “if”, it’s a matter of “when”. 

Now, it’s OK if you can’t imagine jumping from where you are now to that perfect reality you imagine. That’s a hard jump for anyone to make. 

What I find helpful is to focus on moving up the emotional scale when it comes to belief. And what I mean by this is searching for statements or beliefs that stretch you in the direction you want to go and that still feel good when you think about them. 

The key here is the feeling. Search for a better feeling or a feeling of relief.

So what this might look like practically, is that you might not be able to look at your current co-parenting situation and believe that it would be magically different. BUT you might look at others co-parenting amicably, getting along and find comfort knowing that it IS possible. 

Or you might start to express gratitude for the small wins that are working out for you.

So start expanding your belief by paying attention to the story you’re telling and how you’re feeling.

3. Let go of attachment to outcome — Be OK with however your co-parenting situation needs to unfold. 

Letting go of attachment to outcome is probably THE HARDEST step in manifestation, because we really want what we want. Especially when we’re witnessing heartbreak and pain in our kids and we want something different for them. 

But even though we want something really bad (we have that burning desire) we also have to simultaneously be OK with other possible outcomes. 

I find the best way to to this is to put your curiosity hat on and adopt the mindset and childlike excitement of “I’m curious to see how this unfolds.” Or simply to not focus on it at all — to put the desire out there and then go do something else - something fun, and easy, something that lights you up. Because these feelings (remember that manifestation always comes back to feelings) will allow for more ease and fun in your life. In ALL areas of your life.

4. Take inspired action — listen to the nudges of intuition and don’t be afraid to try something new. 

Be playful about your action and experiment. Find joy in the unfolding and trying something new. 

This is about taking steps toward what you want without forcing or logically thinking. If something doesn’t work - great! Now you know that doesn’t work. Try something new. And keep experimenting in a playful manner until something sticks. Until you gain traction. But be OK in the process of experimenting

And always listen to the nudges of your internal guidance system, trusting your intuition always. 

And when you’re in a dark emotional defeated headspace, don’t take action. Simply feel those emotions until they pass and only take action when you feel a bit lighter.

5. Have faith — It’s coming. What you want is coming. It’s not a matter of “if”, it’s a matter of “when”.

And it might not unfold how you want it to unfold.

It might not look how you want it to look. 

But it’s coming.

Look at other areas of your life where you have manifested the things you desire. Lean on these examples as evidence that you are a powerful creator — powerfully creating your reality. This is evidence that you can manifest what you want. 

You simply now need to apply it to your co-parenting relationship and watch it transform.

I love you.. It’ll see you next time.